Magician Within

As I’ve started the process of finding my own path I’ve stumbled from method to method trying to find my own magic. After months of trying I decided to get the advice of an experienced magician. I figured I could use some outside clarity on some things.  A magician is a person who takes certain actions to produce a specific result. The magician uses all the tricks of his or her trade to produce that result.  As I sat across the table from the magician I noticed something. He incorporated astrology, numerology, palmistry, tarot, past lives views as well as his own real life experiences. At that very moment it dawned on me, there is no right or wrong way. There is not one method to finding truth, you can use what feels most comfortable to you and develop more as you go along.

What I took away from this experience is the realization that what I have done so far I can use as a starting point. It’s my foundation, the ground work so to speak. Astrology was my first point of interest, it’s a system I’ve been able to use to help me understand myself and others. Tarot cards tap into a specific part of my psyche and it has created an internal dialogue through the use of symbols. I’ve gained the most information through dreams and mediation. Mediation slows my mind to a point where I am very receptive to messages and visions.  My experiences are my contributions to consciousness.

I also came to terms with the fact that my purpose here is somewhat dual.  There is a need to contribute to the overall state of consciousness as well as a need to understand myself. In order to be effective at this thing I’ve signed up for, I have to travel through the self. At times it seems like I am doing two different things at one time but they are connected.  It’s has become very important for me to neutralize all things that can affect me in a way that causes separation.  What the magician gave me was a look into what can become if I continue in my current state.  But if I change my current state, I also change the rules. There is a need to understand what I am changing and why. This is the responsibility that comes with harnessing your magic. There will be someone to answer to at some point.  But I try not to use that phrase as a limiting factor. The main thing at this point is to shed all limitations. We are born to make mistakes along the way but we all have a contract and a purpose so material manifestation should come second to it. This world is new to me but I understand some desires will naturally fall off while others will require more of my focus. I try to keep in mind the real intention of letting go of all blocks and focusing on my version of truth.  No one else can choose your path for you, it’s all by design.

The Cards

Your masculine energy is trapped in a prism of fear. It is time to take action using your sacral, throat and brow chakras.  Your support system ( the spiritual world) is ready to send you off into battle. But you must turn away from your emotions and back to the land and what’s natural.  Use the sun and moon as your guide on this journey.  And when you return she (your feminine energy)  will be waiting with open arms.

Nine of Wands
King of Swords
Six of Wands
Eight of Cups
Queen of Swords

The Cards

The questioning of your ideas on relationships will lead to the destruction or removal of your current thoughts.  Symbolically the lightning bolt is coming from the spiritual world. When it strikes your crown it causes you to throw out your old models of what’s masculine and feminine.  In return you have an initial injury which causes you to look over your shoulder.  But strength and balance will allow you to become the mother…to take a more mothering form. Meaning you will become more in tune with what is natural.

The Tower
Nine of Wands
The Chariot
The Empress

Your Own Path

Choosing your own path seems like an abstract concept. But you have more power over who you are and what you project into your current life and future lives than you think. We are living in a time where life has been handed to you.  You’ve been told how to think, what to expect, how it should look, when to do what. However, when the life you think you should have does not line up with what has been given to you as your template for life, you start to live in a constant state of turmoil. Questions of discontent began to form.  Am I good enough? Do I have enough education? Do I have enough money? Do I have the right car, house, mate, kids, family. Everything you think you know is up for review.  You start to wonder into the sea of what is.

You look around and your friends and family appear to have a more ideal life than yours. You start to think why I can’t I have that. I deserve that template of what it means to be a happy person.  So you narrow your search down to one area of your life to focus on. You start to think if only I had a better job, I would be able to get a better house and have a better life. So you spend your days working hard, going back to school, updating your resume, changing your outward appearance and everything else on the surface of your life. Fast forward and now you have obtained what looks like the template and you might even be happy and proud of yourself for your achievement, which you should be. That is until the emptiness of what is pops up again because you realize an updated version of the template has emerged. Then you start the same cycle of changing your exterior to line up with your worldly view of what is. After going around this circle a couple times some people will jump off the merry-go –round to figure out where is the disconnect.  These people have an opportunity to see and understand a new world.

A world into which you may truly start to remember who you are or what you was sent here for. Discovering why you was sent here is an internal journey into the self. It is something that I am experiencing it right now. This experience is very real.  What I’ve found is that my perception of what was real is really not. It’s not truth, it’s more of an illusion. To get pass the illusion you have to be prepared to evolve. To examine every truth that you thought was truth to get to the real truth of higher self. This can start off as a painful and scary adventure. But the discovery of true self and lining up with who you are is well worth the journey.  A part of why we were sent here is for what seems like suffering but suffering is only a matter of interpretation. What you are really experiencing is a cleansing, a purification of self. You have to be stripped of all you think you know to find out what truly is. A part of you will fight this process from beginning to end. There have been moments when I’ve felt a sense of two steps forward three steps back. I’ve felt moments of being completely lost in this new word and wanting to lean back into what I was. The who I am to become seems abstract so distant at moments. But when I take the time to sit back and regroup and really change my perspective I realize it’s really not as bad as I thought. And in fact I have become a slightly better version of myself. More caring, more loving, more understanding… and I’ve developed a need to share what I’m learning in this process with others in hopes that they can learn from my experience. This sharing may produce a short cut for someone else or even a feeling of true connection with others.

Hello world!

I wanted to start a blog about my life as it is today, as it was yesterday and as it will be in the future.  It will mainly touch on my views of life in two worlds, the one that we know and the one that we don’t know. It’s a journey into discovering and defining my version of spirituality…finding my truth.  There will be fiction, non fiction, poems, visions, dreams and all other thought forms that come to mind.  Hopefully you will be able to relate to some of the content. I plan to keep a light and airy feel, something fun and exciting. So enjoy!