I got some abandonment issues I never knew exactly why. On the surface I seem fine. My parents have been married for almost 40 years. No one of significance really left my life permanently or made me feel extremely rejected. All the things you would on surface think that would cause abandonment issues I could not identify with. What played on in my own life right before I divorced my ex was this strong feeling of abandonment. I went into the relationship with that issue and so to see it play out in real life was paralyzing. It was so strong that it felt real. It was betrayal and extreme panic mixed into one. The only way at the time I knew how to handle that feeling was to run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. It’s been a few years and I’ve long gotten passed why things didn’t work but that abandonment thing keeps bubbling to the surface.
I own a past life regression CD. I’ve used it over the last few months. It has been pretty insightful so I figured why not use it for this. At the beginning of the mediation I see myself in a hospital. Everything is white. A blond-haired nurse walks pass me with a chart in her hand. I see my spirit standing in the operating room. The year 1836 pops into my mind and the word German. I am not sure what the world German means at this time, is it the name of the hospital or is it my background. I’m not German in my present day life. On the table is my ex husband. He’s surrounded by doctors. They are operating on his heart. In the adjacent room I see myself in a physical body. I am in pain. I am unsure as to how this is going to turn out. I am crying. In the row behind me, my former mother in law is there too. She is his mother in both lives. I was also his wife in both lives. My awareness turns back to the operating room. I see his spirit get up from his body. He comes over to my spirit and we start to talk. We start to have conversations about the life we’ve had together. We are laughing and having a good time. No one else can see us. After some time the doctors give up, there is nothing else they can do to bring him back. My awareness turns back to the waiting room and what I feel from the physical version of me is pain. I feel abandoned. I feel like he left me here by myself, there is nothing to console me. We didn’t have any kids, he wasn’t suppose to leave me. In my mind it didn’t dawn on me that it was by design for him to go. He wouldn’t have left me by choice but our time on that plane at that time was complete. I continued that life feeling abandoned. I never remarried. Years later when his mom died, I began to relive the abandonment again.
Before you leave a regression you are asked to release it. Because of your awareness level, you can see the situation from a different set of eyes and understand that what you felt although real, the conclusion you might have come to at the time was not truth. In order to move forward in this life you can realign with the truth. So I began to pray and I used my conscious thoughts to make sense of the false imprint I’d been carrying for years and maybe even lifetimes. For the first time I honestly felt a weight lifted. I had at least one thing I could identify with as to why I had these feelings in my present life. I can’t guaranteed that my abandonment issues are gone but I definitely have gained another perspective on it.