More Release and Renewal

The best gift you can give yourself is the gift of renewal and celebration. I am obviously going though the process of cleaning house so to speak. My goal for the last year has to be to heal in different areas of my life.  A lot of things that have surfaced have been very insightful, amazing and at times confusing and painful.  But I’ve come to a place that feels like its full circle at least in the current cycle of things.  I’ve learned that my life is moving in continuous cycles kind of like being on water and feeling yourself float along with the current. I spend a lot of time in the water now. I’ve always been somewhat afraid of the water but ironically this year I actually learned how to swim. I’m not perfect but I’m comfortable in there but I can swim on my back with ease. This same water is what I consider to be a metaphor for the experiences I am having now. At first I was afraid of learning about the unknown part nervous about getting and in and seeing what was in there.  But I’ve learned to become more comfortable with a few things. It is a work in progress but I’m proud of my attempts and I can honestly start to see the rewards after a year of hard work.

It came to me in passing to start cutting the cords for people in my life. Cutting cords in so many words is about getting rid of negative attachments in your life. So the more I thought about the concept the more I knew I needed to cut the cords on every relationship that I currently have been it in love, friendships and family.  But not with the intent of getting rid of the people associated with the cords. I decided that as I have grown and become a new person, a more upgraded version of myself so it was time to upgrade my relationships. To give them a new start, to change the way I interact with the people I clearly love. To do it from a more loving, kinder and compassionate space of love from my highest good. I went into a mediation and I asked where do I start.  The first person on the list was my mom.  I love my mom but we’ve had an up and down relationship.  It seemed right that I should start in this space with the person who gave life to me. I wrote a list of how our relationship currently is and how I would like to see it become.  For three days I visualized my mom and releasing the negative attachments and experiences I’ve been holding on to as they relate to her. Honestly I felt a crap load worth of anger. On the third day I prayed asked for the assistance from my guides and angels. I cut the cords and I felt a rush of emotion and then a rush of relief. I realize this ceremony was symbolic. It didn’t mean that magically everything would change overnight for she and I, it just means that I have the power to start over with her. To respond differently to her,  the goal wasn’t so much for her to change but for me to change. So I get it and I felt lighter and happier. I allowed that to sink in.  Then I thought of my top 5 relationships and went through the same process over the next few days. It left me feeling amazing and at times overwhelmed.  There was definitely a release of emotions on my end.

So a few days go by and I reached out to someone who didn’t answer and normally I would have felt bad and been thinking about it all night. This time something different happened. I first went into my usual negative thought pattern that I had with this person, then just stopped immediately and started visualizing the renewal I’d envisioned for us. Every time my mind would try to drift to the old thoughts I’d shift back to the visual until my fear and concern just drifted away. And when I least expected it the person responded and in a way that I didn’t expect. And I immediately went into a state of gratitude. Because this was my first real victory and spirit showed me a small piece of how things would manifest if I focus on the renewal.  So with that I felt a need to celebrate and a need to share my experience.