I forgive love or my idea of what I thought love was. Love is kind, consuming, balanced, forgiving and unconditional. Honestly there is no one word or series of words to define it. But I forgive love.
In silence I find my center
It’s a world few can enter
All things exit as I surrender
He knows her sight unseen
And she waits in the knowing for his arrival
She is receptive to his focus
They in turn find love within themselves
And then write love within each other
Your divine lover exist because you exist
I’m not sure who created this picture but it’s hanging on my wall. The other day these thoughts came to mind as I stared at it.
I realize my fear is not really if I can trust a person again but if I can trust myself to make better decisions on my behalf. If I can trust in general that I am making the right decisions in all my relationships. It’s a tender place for me which means my first thought is to tread lightly. In all honesty this is a process of me trusting my own words, hearing spiritual guidance and using discernment. Trust comes with a level of accountability to yourself and others. How is it possible to trust someone else if you do not trust yourself? If you are not sure if you are making the right decisions. Once you get to place of trusting that you are always guided, truly moving with the best intentions and can figure out any situation I believe it gets easier. It’s a process. I am a work in progress.
Mounted muse, my chariot awaits
Stimulus amused, my body awakes
Sutra of freedom
Virtuous lover, arrives with no cape
Released from captivity
I feel no restraints
I sense your mystical body next to mine
Our neurons reacquaint
I reach over and touch at your nape
Your mane is free and flow like my own
So I desire what’s at stake
Only unleashed fully by the wind
Passions rebuilt by fate
I know instinctively to get on you
No harnesses, no limitations, no need for constraints
No clothes, I don’t think about this sight of sensual auras
If one chooses to look, sketched murals they’ll paint
I glide on, as you tetter
Untamed as we move, floating air across my face
I feel in tuned as we merge into one bridged body
Our hearts racing in place
I don’t know where we are going
But you know exactly where so I relax
Your dominance and powered movements
Keep me harnessed in null space
A peace felt as wisdom embraces my breast
My heart inception moves at your pace
I lose consciousness
Disquieting thoughts, don’t give chase
I surrender cognizance
Harmonies remain altered to my body when I awake
You must become neutral to your move
Then you will hear divine intention
Becoming neutral means knowing you will end up where you are supposed to be
It requires no thought from you, no need to expend energy
Be open to all possibilities
It’s not a matter of where you are but what you do when you get there
Movement in body doesn’t guarantee movement in form
In other words moving physically from one location to another doesn’t mean you’ve moved spiritually
Spiritual movement is needed in this case and it requires neutrality of mind
Struggle in any form keeps you from moving in flow with your destiny
Today surrender your thoughts of your past and you future
Say a higher prayer
Express your trust in divine movement
Moving in flow with the universe is as simple as breathing
So choose to breathe today
At this moment I don’t know how this ends but I’m ok with it.
Seems like a cool way to refer to it. I completed my second session and it was emotional. Thinking back on it now majority of the conversation was about the past. The emotions associated with it made it seem present tense. I left with a weight lifted and had to repeat to myself ‘this is a safe place’. As a kid I learned to keep a lot of secrets and that it was unsafe to share those secrets. So it felt good to just speak those secrets with no judgement. She pointed out the ways in which I compensate for those secrets today. Somehow when someone hits autoplay and you hear your life story repeated back, you hear it through a different place. I heard my story through a different space. It felt like watching a piece of my life on tv. But I was sitting in the audience not on stage. Yet I knew it was my life. It felt both weird and enlightening. I recommend counseling to anyone who feel stuck or just want to change their life in any form. When I left out I just wanted to dance. I heard myself saying to her ‘I am committed to the process’ of healing and growing. That’s a truth worth speaking.
I am a multitasker by nature. In other words there is rarely a bored moment for me. If it comes to mind and seem interesting I’ll try it. This applies across the board. These days when I wake up, going to my 9 to 5 is the only constant. Everything else I play by ear. I might paint, draw, sing, dance, write or read. There are many possibilities to the specifics within each of those categories. The same is true for reading I like to read more than one book at a time. So these days you will see the following books scattered around my bed.
Faery Oracle came with the oracle deck. I purchased it recently and just love reading about the energies on the individual cards. The faery guides have definitely started to open some doors for me.
The 4 Seasons of Marriage has been very insightful and inspiring. As mentioned before I am mentally preparing to remarry and this book has shed so much light on things I wished I’d learned 10 years ago. It brings home how cyclical life and relationships are.
The Rumi Day Book 365 Poems and Teachings…well I think that’s self explanatory. I love reading poems especially outside. They are short and to the point but they share a story or a moment in time and feeling of the poet.
The fourth book came with no title but I’ve given it one. Sacred Woman: A Healers Guide 2014 is my journal. The front cover is an image of a guide I’ve seen in many visions. Usually in the vision the tigress is sitting or floating beside me and an owl is on my shoulder. We are always in or close to water and I listen as they provide guidance. Tigers represent strength and owls represent wisdom so it seemed like the perfect journal for me.
These are the things that surround me these days. They lay scattered around my bed as I move from one book to the other. Always open to new possibilities…