I will be honest I don’t know whose life this is. At times I feel scattered and all over the place but in a good way. What I liked about my previous vocation was the structure and routine. I knew one week out of every month I would be extremely busy. I probably would have some level of stress, might lose a little sleep and I was definitely going to be eating something fried, cheesy or laced in chocolate. Once it was over I’d go back to my zen life for another three weeks.
This new life so far involves very little stress in the traditional sense. My stress these days is related to what shoes or shirt to wear to which event. I have a love-hate relationship with camera phones. You damn near have to throw your clothes away after someone gets a snapshot of you. You try explaining why you have the same shirt on in three different photos from three different venues. This is extent of my current stress and even that is minimum. However, my life seems all over the place. My sleep pattern is all over the place. The schedule I posted a week ago didn’t apply at all this week. Things definitely got better after Tuesday. I attended the following four out of the seven scheduled events this week.
- Employee to Entrepreneur
- Freedom from Fibroids
- SBA: Contracting With The Government
- Melanin MeetUp and Black Bloggers United
Each event left it’s own imprint on my thoughts. In the midst of these events I lost track of time in a few places. I had a thirty minute photoshoot that lasted three hours. I decided based on the photographer’s energy to just go with the flow. She was intrigued by my story and I had four hours to kill. She started her business three years ago yet somehow Groupon and my need to save a few bucks brought us together. Her energy felt familiar, like talking to an old friend. While prepping her space she told me to turn on any music I liked. I chose Future’s Pandora Station. I hesitated at first but he had gotten me through the week. Whenever I needed to focus and tune out the world, I could zone out to the sound of his voice for three hour blocks of time to get work done. Three hours flew by quickly and the photos turned out amazing. I also walked away with a new friend.
The next day I spent three hours in an empty bar. I found peace halfway through my frozen margarita. I silently wondered what kind of life the other ten people in the bar live. Time escaped me for awhile but it was a much needed break from the five hours I’d just spent in a stuffy room full of small business owners. I pondered awhile on whose idea it was to put 50-60 people in a room for five hours with no snacks and no water. Either way I felt gratitude toward the bartender and tequila for helping me find my happy place. This was my version of Namaste N’ Sip.
I ended the week with my monthly Namaste N’ Shop class. The class went well. I had four first timers. I felt honored that they chose to spend time under my guidance. I had to run home afterwards to change clothes for a Melanin Meetup and Black Bloggers United event. I was an hour late. When I arrive I initially was not feeling the vibe. The hostesses were very inviting and their presence helped. I wasn’t sure about everyone else’s energy so I stayed on the fringes of the group. I did perk up once the three guest speakers began. They were transparent seemed and down to earth. They shared their experiences and answered questions. On the way to the car I reflected on their collective journey’s. I felt a connection and it instantly made this week well worth it.
This week was different from last week. I’d like to believe all roads are leading somewhere great. It seems a little sketchy but I am a three dimensional character. If you’ve read my previous post you know my interest vary and change accordingly. I genuinely loving learning and experiencing new things. The entrepreneurs path shall be no different. After every event I get a new idea and potential opportunities rise to the surface. Each time I pondered on how to incorporate what I just learned into my current journey, how can to share it or where to store it for a later date. I’m not sure that I believe in coincidences. I do not think we show up in places by mistake. There is a consciousnesses we are aware and an unconsciousness that moves us according to what’s of our highest good. Either way I don’t question it. A day in the life is never dull… I am still working on my new routine.
Peace and Blessings
Week 2 is getting off to a rough start. I have plenty to do, calls to return, appointments to schedule and events to attend. My ‘to do’ list continues to expand. I have 2 missed calls, 6 missed text and 4 missed glides (an app my friends and I use for group chats). Monday was a wash because I traveled back from Dallas that morning. By the time I got settled at home it was after 12pm. I planned to attend an event last night but was too drained to get it together.
Today started off promising even though I didn’t wake up until 6am. Everything was scattered around my apartment so I decided to straighten up a bit. It’s hard to focus in a disheveled space. Plus I prefer to clean first thing in the morning so I can come home to a tidy place. Cleaning was a part of my ritual to start my day in my former vocation. I washed dishes, swippered floors, organized clothes, set up my meditation and yoga space. Two hours later I had to mentally force myself to take a seat to regroup. I somehow hadn’t even gotten to my mat time and was still far from starting my ‘work day’. After about 10 minutes I pulled out my notebook to see what was needed for the day. I wrote one thing down then absent-mindedly stumbled down on the mat.
I turned on the music but felt annoyed and decided I’d listen to the birds instead. I jumped up to opened the windows. I sat back down for my yoga opener. Ten minutes later I was folding clothes. I don’t even remember when I drifted off the mat. I stopped folding and got back on the mat. Glazing at my watch I promised myself 30 minutes on the mat then I’d start my day. I picked up where I left off and immediately went into pigeon pose. I listened to my body and allowed it to guide me from pose to pose. After 45 minutes, I ended my yoga sequence in dancer’s pose. I cannot hold dancer’s pose for long but as I switched sides I knew it was necessary for me to leave the apartment. I became very aware of my lack of focus. Although I had candles burning and sage smudging in the background I mentally drifted in and out of focus.
Standing on the edges of my new life awareness is key. There are many reasons why people decide to start a business. I started my business to have freedom and flexibility in mind, body and spirit. Freedom and flexibility are not useful if you aren’t focused. I love ending my day at 2pm if needed or starting it at 5pm if I choose to. Today’s awareness allowed me to see freedom and flexibility still need some level of structure, parameters and balance. Lucky for me I’d already scoped out a few locations with some level of structure. I headed out the door in ripped jeans, flips flops and a “sleep is for suckas” t-shirt. Time to get to work.
Peace and Blessing
I made it through my first week of self employment. I am definitely still getting adjusted to my new timing. From some people’s perspective they treat me as if I’m unemployed and always available so I get calls in the middle of the day especially around my midday nap. My midday nap make others think I’m not working at all. While I am loving the outpouring of love, it is my responsibility to redefine my boundaries and inform others of my business hours. No I do not sleep in and get up late. I continue to wake up at 5 am
. Early morning is when I’m most productive. I work when I am most productive. I shift my attention from my phone to focus on my business. My most productive times are 5am to 10am
and 5pm to 9pm
. I don’t know why but that’s when I get the most work done. I’ve started to adjust my life around those times. Here is what my days look like
- 5am to 10am yoga and meditation, administrative duties, content and class planning, training, marketing and success visualization
- 11am to 1pm working out (i.e. walking/running or weights) and yoga stretches
- 1pm to 3pm running errands or handling personal business
- 3pm to 4pm taking a nap
- 5pm to 9pm networking, marketing and business development
Yes it appears that I am off a lot earlier than in the past however when you’re asleep I am working. When you are done with your day, I am working. My day now includes what’s most important to me not what’s important to my employer. I spend more time in mind, body and soul zone. When you are commuting I’m visualizing my success. When you are at breakfast, I am meditating. When you are wrapping up your day, I am regrouping. My nap is essential for second part of my day. If I don’t plan for it, I become exhausted. The beauty of my new schedule is I get to adjusted it according to what is needed for the day or week. If I know I have an event later in the day, I adjust my late evening schedule to afternoon. In a few weeks my corporate classes will start so my workout will move up and that time will be dedicated to my classes. My errand time slot may fall off completely or be moved to specific days. The lines appear blurred but I am very much employed. I am not unemployed. I am self-employed.
Peace and Blessings
When you allow the spirit to lead some things become non-negotiable. I am one day away from my last day. The company I work for was bought by another company about 10 months ago. My office in Atlanta only consist of our former Accounting, Finance and IT groups. Our new corporate office is in San Diego.
I knew when I saw the lady from HR something was awry. We were called into a meeting to find out the Accounting function I have been leading for three years will be moved to San Diego by September. As the news spread, I allowed it to sink in. I was reminded by Coach Kelli that this was a lesson in trusting the process. This is why I didn’t need to know what was being offered as stay money a few weeks ago. My spirit said it was time and I was obedient.
I’ve known for at least a year it was time to move forward. I struggled with my decision because I genuinely like my boss and felt guilty about leaving her to follow my spiritual nudges. The longer I stayed the angrier I got. I was becoming irritated by everything and everybody. I wanted to be left alone. I had good days but I also had bad days. I had to wrap my mind around my reality. This job was no longer a fit and I was only buying time by sacrificing my peace. When the Creator tells you to move and you don’t move, you become uncomfortable. Things start going not so right. I made excuse after excuse on why it wasn’t time. The whole while secretly resenting the person I was staying for. The character of my staff was being revealed to me. The character of the new company was being revealed to me. I was stressed and burned out. Yet I stayed because I wasn’t ready to let go. One thing we all will learn, you can either move willingly or be moved unwillingly. I’m glad I chose to move.
It took the last 90 days of 2016 for me to wrap my mind around what I was being asked to do. Then I woke up January 14th and wrote out my 90 day plan. I knew by the end of March, I needed to be out of the building. I did not know why. I didn’t ask. When the Creator asks you to trust, you are not always given the why. I knew this by heart because I had been at this crossroad before. I had been asked to let go before and everytime I initially struggled. I would eventually accept and let go. That did not make this time any easier. Each time I remind myself that when I finally let go something greater happened. Something that made letting go well worth it. That morning in January I knew it was time.
Once I go into planning mode, my mind is made up. It is my way of confirming to the universe that I hear them and I am ready for my instructions. The planning is for my mind not for my spirit. My spirit is guiding, I had to get my mind in alignment. My first step was to write my resignation letter. I wrote it that day. I saved it on my computer. I dated it March 31st and printed it. I do not know why I choose that day. On February 14th, exactly thirty days later, I had a conversation with my boss that I took as confirmation for my decision. I expressed that day that I was creating my exit and would be out of the building in 60 days. She thought it was mindless chatter, even smirked and later asked me what was my date. I said with no hesitation April 14th. The way I said it made her sit up in alarm. I did not smile or smirk. Family and friends couldn’t believe my honestly but I was living and breathing in a different space. Again I did not know why I choose that day.
You may see this as coincidence but I see this as synchronicities. I see these as confirmations from the universe. Today April 13th, my department found out we were losing our jobs. While different stages of shock set in with everyone else, I was at peace. I was thankful. I walked with my head up. My plan was already made. There was no need for me to react. No need to feel anger because I was taken care of. The Creator had already spoken over me. I was asked again what was my price and my response was non-negotiable.
I trust I made the right decision. I trust I am perfectly positioned. Today I know I am a free woman. I now know why. I am ready to take my destiny in my own hands. No turning back only forward movement. I say to all trust the process.
Peace and Blessings
I am an inspiration to others. While I am not the first person to move from part time to full time business owner, I have had so many people find inspiration in my choice. I get asked often how is your transition possible? Can you afford to quit your job? Do you have a lot of money? My response is when you are afraid to lose nothing then you are ready to gain everything. When I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself, it wasn’t time. When I was afraid that I would be starting from bottom, it wasn’t tme. When I was afraid just to be afraid, it still was not time. The moment I decided I was not afraid of any of those things then I immediately shifted to it’s time.
Fear can hold us in place even when it’s not true. We can spend so much time overanalyzing and waiting for the perfect time that we miss the perfect time. I experienced spiritual nudgings and each one was preparing me for this moment. I had to practice not being afraid. I had to practice trusting the universe. This had to happen so that I could share with other people. Sometimes people want your life but don’t want your experiences. Please know the Creator want all to live in alignment with their highest good. When we make the choice to follow it everything else falls into place.
3 Days and Counting
Peace and Blessing
I want to live in between the lines for a bit. I think what I look forward to most is a resting place. Not the typical one and a half days we get between Friday and Monday. Sundays don’t count as a full day because you spend the second half of it preparing for Monday. I truly want to rest and regroup. No phones, no internet, no tv, no car…just in between the lines with nowhere to go but on purpose. I want to be able to purposely choose to sit in between the lines. No schedule, no bills, no deadlines, no check ins even if just for a while. I want to rest for a bit. I know how yesterday looks, tomorrow is unknown. I want to live in the place between yesterday and tomorrow. I want to live in between the lines.
4 Days and Counting
Peace and Blessings
I am magical. I create what I want to appear.
Peace and Blessings
I’m so excited. Everywhere I go I’m telling anyone that will listen. This is a huge step and it feels right. The outpouring of support is amazing. I had a long talk with a close friend and was literally cross-examined on every piece of my plan. The questions were far-reaching but I had a response for every question. I feel like I have an airtight plan but it’s also flexible enough to make immediate adjustments when needed. Some people are just the messenger. This become for me a divine coaching session in a series of final gut checks. I have literally thought through every scenario. I have a plan A, B, C and D if not more. I am pursuing at least three avenues to diversify my options. All things complement each other yet there is enough diversity to prevent the ‘all eggs in one basket’ syndrome. I have been quitting my job for 16 years. On paper I have started at least 5 other businesses prior to this. This is the first one that made sense and fuels my passion. I have no regrets, each step was divinely meant to bring me to this point. I am not looking back. There is only forward movement. I am living in the present moment as I began to live my life outloud. One can only succeed when they get pass the fear of failure.
I am perfectly positioned to pursue the next steps in my life. I am in alignment with my purpose.
Peace and Blessings
Most people don’t know I am up by 5 am every morning. That is the time I get my best work done especially as I transition from employee to employer. This morning was different. I was wide awoke and staring in the darkness at 3:32. I always check my clock because numbers mean something to me spiritually. I know from memory that 3:33 relates to Ascended Masters. Ascended Masters are Beings that protect and guide us. Even though I was a minute off I knew there was a good reason for my insomnia.
I heard the phrase “what is your end goal”. I am already a business owner so you would think I knew off-hand. In truth I did not. I thought about the goals I have written. My written goals are categorized by timing (i.e. three month, six month and one year). I figured I’d play the rest by ear and see where I was being lead spiritually. This was the first time I was asked what was my end goal. I got excited to be honest because the question signifies that I am at least on track with my beginning goals. It was now time to look further and put it out into the universe. I laid in silence for a while.
In the silence an unrelated idea came to mind. Yesterday my spiritual sister reminded me that she was still waiting on a ‘how to start a business checklist’ I had promised her weeks ago. I wasn’t dragging my feet on the task it just keep slipping my mind. I initially told her there would be three items on the list. In the silence I typed up nineteen in my electronic notebook. I was listening to my spirit and replaying everything I had personally done to get to this point. I immediately jumped up when I got to nineteen. It was time for me to deliver my end goals. It was time for me to put into universe where I wanted to be in the next 2-10 years. It turns out my end goal is to mentor and lead others in connecting the spirituality of their experiences with their purpose and life path. All of my pieces started coming together. I immediately got five new ideas back to back. Ideas were literally pouring out of my head and they all related to everything I have done up to this point. I never did get back to sleep but waking up at 3:32 was well worth it. I will be sharing those five ideas in the coming weeks so stay tuned. 9 Days and Counting….
Peace and Blessings