Conscious Curosity: Experience Is Not Always The Best Teacher

Self Love

 

Recently I have been in contact with someone from the distant past. Some things have surfaced as a reminder to remain consciously curious and vigilant about not allowing past experiences to take the fun out of getting to know someone.  Experience has taught me to initially keep my guard up and look for a motive. As I observe my interaction with this person, my normal response seems to be nonexistent as if the guards have somehow gone on lunch break. I find myself tilting my head to the side with conscious curiosity as I try to figure that one out. Conscious curiosity means I slow down long enough to observe my own words, thoughts, and interactions in each situation.

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Spirituality has taught me

  • There is no such thing as coincidence. People appear for a reason, a season or lifetime. I do believe there is a storyline (purpose) that we agreed to prior to coming here. I also believe part of the journey is discovering or reconnecting with that purpose. The people who appear can either take you closer or further away from your purpose and it’s up to us to stay attuned to who is who. It is up to us to ask the question, what am I supposed to learn from this person? I don’t think everyone you meet you are supposed to continue with. I can call to memory at least one lesson from every major relationship I’ve had with other people.

 

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  • Change only comes from awareness. It’s hard to change what you don’t know exist. For years I walked around in a cloud, a protective cloud of ignorance. It was the best thing for me at the time. Some days I wish I could go back to my blissful ignorance, but you can’t make yourself unconscious. You can ignore your conscious, but I’ve learned it only creates conflict that shows up as stress and sleepless nights. I know there are patterns I have repeated and roles in relationships that I have agreed to with my silence. While I have no regrets, I also know that it’s now my responsibility to make different choices in relationships. I have this 60-day rule. The guardian’s post. Where I don’t let an inch of my guard down until I can gauge your intention. Once I know it, even if I don’t like it I know how to handle the situation. I know what category to place the individual in. I never really named them before but I’ll label them as follows; potential, friend zone and not an option. About 80% end up in ‘not an option’. 19% in the ‘friend zone’ and a small 1% end up in ‘potential’.  That means if I meet 100 people only 1 I will consider true potential. On occasion, friend zone occupants can make a leap to potential but sometimes the conversion is rocky. The catch is friend zoned is a necessary evil. It’s rare that upon first introductions you go to the top-tier.  Some see friend zone as the death zone but that’s not always the case with me. ‘Friend zone’ is where I go to make an assessment of your character and true potential.

 

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  • Experience stifles possibility. Sometimes our experiences can leave such a negative imprint that we vow to never repeat. The only catch to that is, it requires us to block all potential. People can show up with really no agenda other than to love you completely. However, pain from the past or an attachment to the possibility of pain can stand in the way.  We stop allowing the impossible to be possible. If I can’t authentically communicate what I need, then I run the risk of never allowing another to step up to meet the need.  When I can’t authentically be myself, it’s hard for me to stay engaged with another because I’m always hiding a part of myself. This is where prayer and meditation have been my ally. Conscious curiosity has become my state of mind.

 

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The last six months I’ve seen glimpses of past experiences as well as the potential for the future. Some experiences were definite deal breakers while others opened my eyes to new possibilities. I trust that my sacred prayers are being received by the universe and each experience is my confirmation.

Peace and Blessings

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6 Months and Counting

It’s the fourth quarter and 2017 has been good to me. I’ve learned so much about entrepreneurship.  No matter how much research you do, nothing can teach you better than real life experiences. Here are the top six things I learned in the last six months.

Businesses are cyclical. I anticipated my slow season and had a one-dimensional idea of what I could do when it arrived. I wanted to spend time with family and friends. That, however, wouldn’t keep my business relevant or in the minds of potential customers. Since my slow season started earlier than anticipated I had to create a new plan.  That plan included me finishing my book, attending more networking events, vending at conferences and self-educating in preparation for the next season.

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Multiple streams of income are imperative. Yoga and meditation provide meaning and direction. I love sharing it with other people.  I’ve come to understand it is just a gateway to other opportunities.  In addition to mindfulness services, I offer meditation supplies at events along with my book. I also provide Reiki healing sessions. All are elements under a wellness umbrella. In addition, I am still a CPA and work on contract assignments as needed.

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Businesses will sell you anything, including what you do not need. My biggest lessons this year have been related to paying for services I didn’t need. I take accountability because it’s my responsibility to make educated purchases. I quickly came to understand that some businesses will knowingly sell you something of no real value to your business. They are in the business to make money.  I started my business to help, empower and inspire other people which leave no room for misleading others. It’s not necessary.  I believe people are lead to me and I have a spiritual responsibility to handle them with love and care. I learned to do more research on the front end and ask other business owners for referrals.

Leveling up is key.  I’ve been paying my dues and making my rounds. I’ve gotten comfortable in my arena and I’m now starting to see the same faces.  I recently decided it was time for me to find a new circle. My intent is to maintain a presence in the current one but to also put myself in a room with people who can teach me more. This is necessary for my long-term growth and prosperity.

Entrepreneurs

Ask for what you want. I am used to being independent and having to figure it out on my own. Entrepreneurship is all about relationships.  You have to ask for support.  You have to personally invite others to your events.  You have to ask for event and product sponsorships. In the business world asking for what you want is not frowned upon.  This is new territory for me but I am up for the challenge.

The best way to establish yourself as a leader in your industry is to plan your own event. Since I published ’60 Affirmations and Reflections for Entrepreneurs’, I’ve been looking for speaking engagements to promote it. The only roadblock is that I am not known as a speaker,  I am still considered a newbie in this arena. Therefore, I have been turned away more times than I’d like to admit.  I don’t take it personally because businesses have to protect their brand and affiliations. Then one day it hit me, instead of asking others for a seat at their table, why not create my own damn table and movement. If I want to prove I’m a great speaker, then I have to create a speaking event.  This lead to the birth of  ‘Quit Your Job in 90 Days’, an event designed for attendees to walk away with an actionable plan to leave an unfulfilling job. Ever since I made that decision two major opportunities have opened up for other events.  It’s almost like the doors came off the hinges.  Someone actually told me they researched me and they knew my story.  That is the highest honor to have another organization seeking me out to speak to their audience.

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There is no right way to plan for entrepreneurship.  While there are some overall commonalities that entrepreneurs will face, everyone’s journey will also be different. Hopefully, some can find value in my experiences and keep them in mind in their own journey.  Keep what you need and toss the rest.

Peace and Blessings

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Uncomfortable Emotions

We do not achieve self control through the suppression of our emotions, but by being mindful of them and taking seriously the information they convey.. This inner space allows us the wisdom to act upon feelings conducive to our well being and not act upon those harmful to it. The feeling that ultimately comes to occupy this space is a deep and abiding peace. Such peace is the emotional reward of a spiritual life – Thomas Schenk

Emotions are friendly messages from your inner world. During a conversation I became extremely emotional about feeling burdened by family ties. The burden of unwanted expectations and manipulation. It’s almost like I reverted back to an old thought process of ‘if I am taking care of everyone’s else’s needs, who is going to take care of me’. My anger felt fueled by another’s attempt to get me to see it another way but instead of compassion I felt more anger. I felt a need to defend my stance to make clear that nobody’s opinion would sway my own.

To feel bound by the expectations of another is not always easy to shake especially when you are being constantly reminded of it. My response to it is my line in the sand. It creates a boundary that makes it clear where I stand. It provides clarity and consistency. A softer response doesn’t get the same reaction as a passionate hell no. A softer response equates to death to self. Often we are taught to sacrifice who we are for the unhealthy codependent needs of another. There is nothing spiritually, mentally or socially healthy or acceptable about these demands. The demands of others often cut off your freedom and impact your health.

Emotional responses are often associated with negativity or seen as a sign of weakness so we learn to suppress our feelings. On the surface the problem looks resolved but internally we create the pathway to imbalances in the physical body. Those imbalances impact the immune system and can make you vulnerable to diseases. Suppression creates stress that will eventually trigger a need for a physical release from the body. Suppression also often cuts off our communication and connection with others. For me it means putting distance between myself and whomever I no longer feel is a safe outlet. It is not blind agreement that I seek but rather compassion and understanding for what I feel. Spiritual consciousness and emotional intelligence means I have the right to feel how I feel. Even if my response isn’t agreed with.

Suppressing emotions may be a socially-approved…but it may cause negative things to happen that can affect your mental and physical health

Past experiences become a double edge sword even for the spiritually adept. Spiritual freedom allows you to live in the moment yet there is an unconscious part of you always ready to respond to the present moment with past emotions. It takes much practice to stay in the present moment. It takes practice to remember that your current freedom isn’t at risk. Some wounds are harder to heal than others. Awareness and reflection are a part of the healing process.

When faced with an uncomfortable emotional response instead of trying to resolve it, just allow it to happen with no attachment to the outcome. Some family dynamics are hard to explain.