Mixed Bag

I have officially rounded up my first month in self employment.  I started the week by spending the first few days in my old vocation again.  By Tuesday morning I was over the idea of traffic and getting to the office by 9 am.  By around 3pm I remembered exactly why I quit the first time and I quickly wrapped up for the day.  Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with working a 9 to 5.  Self employment is not for everyone and I spent most of my career at a 9 to 5 so you will get no judgement from me. However around 3 o’clock I started feeling uncomfortable, irritated and extremely tired.  I was starting to miss my nap time and I was definitely neglecting my new life.  I hadn’t seen an email, sent time developing my ideas or finding new avenues to reach more clients.  I felt grumpy and out of touch.  I decided to call it a week.

Wednesday however was perfect.  I focused on reconnecting with my business and getting some much-needed rest.  I did some poolside yoga training.  I planned my yoga class sequences and caught up on email.  A new opportunity was waiting in my inbox further proof that my efforts were paying off and possible clients wanted to learn more. Thursday I was greeted by even more exciting news.  My main corporate client has expanded their mindfulness program to a different office and 46 employees were expected to participate.  Between the two offices I would be leading a total of 83 employees for 4 sessions a week.  Last year was the first year for the program and it started with 23 attendees so this was exciting to know that the word was spreading and employees were interested and loving the results.  All things are falling in alignment with my mission.

We empower others through body awareness, breathing techniques and yoga postures to enhance their overall health and well-being.  We teach you how to create space in your life to balance your daily challenges and align with your higher purpose, increase happiness and find inner peace.

Friday was back to networking. I attended two amazing events.  The first one was hosted by a business radio talk show.  The show is an unedited and unscripted public broadcast station for businesses.  It was my first openly spiritual event. I think all things have a spiritual undertone and implication. However this was different because at least three people approached me and freely spoke about their spirituality, theories on energy and synchronicities of meeting the right people at the right time.  I even had two other people mention that I looked familiar or they felt we’d met before.  I smiled and nodded knowing that we probably had met, maybe in another lifetime.

The second event I attended with friends and no intentions.  A county official sat next to my friend and begin to chat.  He ended up asking what I do and I talked about mindfulness in the workplace. He mentioned that he wanted to possibly start a mindfulness program where he works. Sometimes all the cues put you in the right place at the right time.  Hopefully that will turn into a long-term business connection.  I am open to all possibilities.

All in all last week turned out perfect.  It was a good blend of the old and new.  It allowed me to refocus on why I made this choice and why it was important for me to continue.

Peace and Blessings

Advertisements

Release It

Release.jpg

This week I’ve been moonlighting at my old job.  Quite a few people were surprised to see me walk back in the doors on Tuesday.  I left on good terms and have a pretty good rapport with my former director. We were in talks prior to my departure about the possibility of my return in a different capacity and of course on my own terms.  I laid out my parameters, dates of availability and new compensation requirements.  I left with no expectations. In my opinion I had nothing to lose either way. If she called it would be supplemental income.  Since my livelihood was no longer dependent on that company.  If she didn’t call I would lose no sleep and continue as planned. I made it clear that I wasn’t available full time since my focus would be on growing my business.  My director’s response was lukewarm at best. I wasn’t sure if she was shocked by my preparedness, my request for new compensation or if she was just wearing her poker face.

I released my attachments to her response and left with my head high.  Releasing my attachment meant that I wouldn’t put any thought into her reaction. Therefore freeing myself from any future self doubt.  Our self doubt is rooted in our fears.  When we spend time trying to translate another person’s response we unconscious create stories based on our fears.  Releasing our attachment to an outcome means you understand there is a better plan working in your life for your highest good. When we don’t release our attachment, instead of bringing what the Creator intends for us to have we now create disharmony. We also send the message that we do not believe it is possible for the good to happen.

When you do not release your attachment to the outcome, we try to interpret another person’s response.  Your interpretation is what causes the internal fight. For example, I could have walked away wondering if I was qualified to move from a Manager to a Consultant.  If my rate was too high? If my decision was going to destroy a five year work relationship/partnership? If this was the best time? Should I have presented my proposal differently? All these would have been based on me trying to figure out what her response meant. I would be in turmoil until I heard back from her either way.  I could have allowed the voice of self doubt or even the well meaning but destructive thoughts from others push me into discontent for weeks and maybe even months.  However the moment I said I released it, I pushed fear and self doubt out of my psyche.

This is a practice of self love and blind faith.  Self love taught me that I am enough. I am successful. I have a pivotal role in what happens next. A higher power wants me to be happy and at peace because there is a plan over my life that was designed just for me. There is a plan over everyone’s life that was perfected just for you. You came with a purpose. We just have remember we received an internal road map to finding our purpose.  That’s why it’s important to follow and feed your spiritual prompting. Spiritual prompting are your roadmap. Yoga and meditation can help you access it quicker and more frequently.  There are many other ways to access it including music, writing, creative pursuits and much more. We just have to figure out which format provides the shortcut to the hotline. From my experience when I release my attachment to an outcome, that is my way of saying it is no longer in my hands.  I have done my part.

Two weeks went by with no response. I thought nothing about it and focused on my business.  On the Friday of the third week I got her response. Could I be there the following Tuesday? I smiled internally because I knew a higher power was in agreement with my decisions and I had created a new life on my terms.

Peace and Blessings

Kyhir: The Little Warrior

I love you sight unseen
At least physical sight unseen
Inside me I feel you
I listen to your thoughts
They pulsate through my senses
The side of my left eye throbs as you commune with me
I laugh at your humor, smile at your presence
I know you are enroute and preparing me for your return
I hold tightly to this knowledge
Praying gently that the seeds planted into my vessel
Grow out in abundance and in alignment with the way
I ask what’s your name
You show me symbols
I wake up in the middle of the night to comb through the web to find the both the source and response to what you convey
I enjoy your presence and anticipate your arrival
Inspired in pen to describe you now and the love that both comforts and overwhelms me at once
I see you laying on my chest and I smile
I hug at the images because I know you are here in spirit watching my movements trying to decide if you made the right choice in your earthly Isis, your vagrant Lilith, your moon goddess, yaya
Your yin, ma’yor or whatever it is you refer to me as in this state
I open my arms, heart, body and soul to you
May you enter a healed womb and soul
I prepare it for your now as best way I know how
I know I’m being divinely guided
I can’t wait to meet my sun to merge him with my moon
To live in today to create a new tomorrow
I know you come to this vessel with purpose
Kyhir my little warrior, the voice in no need of human word
I love you already and patiently wait for your arrival
With loving eyes, thoughts and memories
May God bless you and show me how to guide you
I surrender you to the most high now and again when we meet
You come with a mission
Singing songs of rejoice
Playing the guitar of life the one I bought in my ignorance not knowing that I play from my heart for you
I sing to your wisdom as you perfect your own way
You give me words to Zen by
I wait for your arrival
I wait for your arrival
No wait for your arrival
Be blessed love

Same Destination

In the dream my sister was with me.  We were running from something but in search of something as well.  At the time these were two unknowns.  We were extremely athletic and able to jump and leap at great heights.   We went into a department store at some point.  We leaped to the top of shelves to prevent being  caught.  People started to be pushed into the store.  As they came in a huge ball of something would explode on them.  She and I didn’t talk but knew we needed to get out the door.  We saw two people grab bicycles and peddle out so we followed suit but got separated in the process.  I peddled for blocks before I saw her behind me, she was coming from a different angle.

As I awoke I heard these words ‘Your physical body will need to be at its height for your spiritual work’

The bicycle is symbolic of a mode of transportation powered by your own physical strength, you become the engine. When you are on a bike you learn to become in sync with your environment, you reestablish connection with the spiritual world.  Your spiritual antennas activate and you are able to ask and receive guidance if you choose.

My sister represents a part of me in the dream that I became disconnected from at some point. However, she was also where I least expected to find her.  We’d split momentarily but ultimately had the same destination so our paths allowed us to cross again.  I didn’t focus on what appeared to be a loss I unknowingly kept moving forward and was rewarded by finding her right behind me still supporting me.  It was as if no time had passed and she had always been there.