Finding Meaning In Times of Uncertainty

Posted on March 24, 2020 by Tiffanie

Fifteen days into self quartine and social distancing has a way of providing perspective. While I don’t claim to know everything, I do know what is happening all over the world at this moment in time, is causing everyone to take a look at life as they know it and make some decisions. Some of those decisions will be very personal while other decisions have become mandates such as working from home and in some cases temporary job loss.

Luckily I am a half glass full person, so I definitely wanted to put some positive vibes out especially after being surrounded by so many doomsday theories and just plain confusion about the state of our affairs not only in this country but all over the world. So in that vein, I’ll share some things that I am happy to see and proud to be a part of.

1 – Although I live hundreds of miles away from my parents and siblings, with all this free time we’ve been checking in on each other more frequently. Some of the conversations are utterly ridiculous like the one I had with my father a week ago about this “worldwide academic’ (he means pandemic) and him arguing with me about the number of people in my area that are infected with the virus (70% of the city according to him). I’m like dad, I check the news at least once a day and that’s just not the case because there aren’t enough test available to for that many people yet. According to the 2017 census, there are over six million people in the metro DC area so his theory is just not possible. Or even the conversation with my brother whose every other word was obviously fear-based and also laced with rumors and misinformation.

The other extreme of conversations with my mother and sister are more lighthearted, lined with humor and memes about the times we are living in. My mother frequently reminding me of our need to keep the faith and watch the words we speak. I see now I get a lot of my perspective from both parents. For years my mother has reminded us about not speaking things into existence long before it became a thing for me. Although the language she used was different, the message has always been the same. My sister and I exchange daily memes and funny video clips that we find throughout the day, not once have I heard a negative word come out of her mouth since this whole thing began. So I’m grateful and feel more connected to the four of them than I have felt in a while.

I am also thankful for the reminder that I come from a family, a race and a culture where we have learned to laugh through the pain and confusion even when we have no idea of what is to come. I don’t know what happens next but I have an overwhelming feeling that all is well and things will fix themselves. I also have a feeling that this situation is opening the heart of the human spirit something we all so desperately need at this time.

2 – I’ve also gotten reacclimated to the power of sleep. The type of sleep that really allows the body to rest without the guilt often associated with inactivity. I personally don’t feel guilty about getting adequate sleep but I know there are a lot of people who do. In the last six months, I’ve been working on a project that I’ve enjoyed overall but the last thirty days the hours increased drastically and I was working 10-12 hour days more than I care to admit. Not to mention other work-related obligations I had outside of that project that would consume my Saturday mornings. So I spent the last two weeks getting the best sleep of my life, mainly because I’ve exhausted tv, eating, reading, and chatting with family and friends. I am now feeling inspired to get back to writing, blogging, and podcasting. All activities that make me happy and keep me feeling aligned with my inner being.

3 – I have this saying that “if you don’t slow down, then the universe will slow you down.” Well, this time is proof that humanity needed to slow down and recalibrate so that we are positioned to operate in more aligned ways going forward. I’m not a big news person but for years there has been talk of the damage human behavior has had on the planet, maybe this is a universe’s way of slowing if not stopping a lot of those behaviors so that the planet can heal itself. The few times I’ve been outside, there are very few vehicles on the road so I know our carbon imprint has shifted. I’m sure companies that pollute have had to slow down operations as well. With most people indoors, the physical earth is definitely getting the rest it needs as well. Maybe when we emerge from this time, it will be with more kindness and empathy not only towards each other but toward the planet we all reside on.

4 – People are exploring new ways to live in isolation. I’ve never seen so many virtual parties, open mics, and concerts than I am seeing right now. Last night I played tv show trivia on Instagram live followed by watching a mini-concert series, both of which I enjoyed. It gave me a much needed Netflix break. People are become creative and expanding the reality of what is possible. It shows the depth of human connection and taps into the spirit of our ability to adjust accordingly.

The first fifteen days I had mixed feelings, but going into the third week of quarantine I feel more at peace and much more emotionally stabilized about the current situation. I’ve stopped running to the grocery store every day. I was only going to refill on snacks anyway. I’ve started to fall into a routine. I am staying very connected with my family and friends. I go out for a nice walk as often as the weather will permit. I am also enjoying the creativity being displayed by others as well as the awakening of our heart center. Stay safe and stay blessed!

DC Entrepreneur Vibes

Posted on October 16, 2018 by Tiffanie

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I am three weeks into my staycation. A staycation is a vacation where you get to unplug from your traditional day to day task while staying in the comfort of your own home. I don’t know if you can really call it a staycation because I recently relocated from Atlanta to Washington DC. I am not sure if this is a permanent move but what I am sure that this part of my journey is tied to this location. I lived DC over ten years ago. The crazy thing is that both the city and I have changed drastically since then. Ten years ago the city was more “urban” but gentrification has altered the landscape. This is not a bad thing, it actually makes the figuring it out part more interesting.

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The vibe of the city is also completely different from Atlanta. Atlanta’s entrepreneurship experience for me was more focused on empowerment, starting a business and marketing yourself. DC’s entrepreneur vibe is totally different. The entrepreneurial vibe is more real estate investing, government and politically focused. Rightfully so because the government runs this town and “fighting the power’ (i.e. establishment) is very ingrained into it. I am reminded of this everytime I’m trolling for things to do. I’m not gone lie, I am itching to march on Washington for some cause. I just haven’t figured out which cause.

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As I’ve been getting acquainted with the landscape and entrepreneurial vibe, it’s taking more time to get used to the question ‘so what do you do.’ It’s not so much the question but more of the tone that’s not sitting well with my spirit these days. As if my response will determine my worthiness. I know my projections and insecurities are mixed into my perception. I’m still kind of taken aback and annoyed by the tone. It’s so direct and finite. I want to shrug and scream ‘I don’t know what I do. I’m figuring it out and taking it day by day.’ Although it’s a partially true statement, I am not sure if it’s appropriate for someone my age. The expectation is that I should know but the truth is I’ve chosen freedom and happiness over accuracy. I am a CPA that blogs about my life and spiritual experiences. I am also a yoga teacher that writes and aspires to speak publicly about doing what the hell you want. I am also an entrepreneur that host events on quitting your job to follow your dreams. I am also a landlord that travels. I am also on my ‘I support everybody black’ shit but I’m kind to people of all ethnicities. I am also an aspiring podcaster that loves all these things equally…. so that’s the true response. I’m sure that’s confusing to some, that as a human being I have a multitude of interest that all tie into my purpose and life choices. I am taking it day by day and following what makes me happy but that tone temporarily has me stuck in my head about how to respond authentically.

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I also noticed while southern entrepreneurs believe in massaging you into doing business, DC entrepreneurs have a rude undertone. They aren’t paying attention to social cues. They want an immediate return on investment. They meet you today and want you to buy yesterday. I’m like wait a minute so you not gone even pull out the vasoline before you make me bend over? I’m not a southern belle. I’m actually pretty ratchet but even I feel some kind of way about how I’ve been approached. I’m probably being dramatic but I think you get where I’m going with that. I am also certain that I just haven’t met my tribe of entrepreneurs. They exist its just a matter of allowing things to happen. I understand this is a new ball game, with key players and a system in place. All in all this relocation and these new challenges are a source of adventure for me. My adrenaline is pumping! I love to use the puzzle analogy because it’s an accurate depiction of how I see life. I am working on a new puzzle, it looks nothing like the old one. I’ll start with the strategies I know and update them as needed. I am up for the challenge.

Peace and Blessings

Identity In Progress

Posted on July 21, 2018 by Tiffanie

Recently, I saw a social media post of a former classmate in reference to his ancestry results. Like most African Americans, I have wondered about my own lineage. When I’ve asked the question, few family members can speak beyond their great-grandparents. A few years ago I attempted to create a family tree but when suggestions for next of kin appeared I was be completely lost. I didn’t know who was married to whom or all the children names to keep up the momentum. After several attempts, frustration took over and I pushed these ideas to the side.

The furthest generation I know about is my great-grandparents. I knew my father’s family was from Memphis because we traveled every summer there to celebrate my great grandfather’s birthday. He lived to be one hundred years old. After he transitioned around the time I was in middle school, the trips to Tennessee got far and few in between. I never got the opportunity to meet my paternal great-grandmother but I always heard that she was a very pretty Native American.

My mother’s family was from St Louis. However, we never traveled to Missouri as a family. I only remember meeting my maternal great-grandmother once. Her reputation proceeded her so I wasn’t upset about not getting to know her. My mother spoke often of her quick temper and no-nonsense approach toward kids. The only memories I have is of her scowling and looking like a mirrored image of my grandmother. My maternal great-grandfather had already transitioned so I never set eyes on him in this lifetime.

When my maternal grandmother transitioned in 2014, I took on the task of creating the obituary. That was a very eye-opening experience. I discovered for the first time that my maternal family originated in a small town outside of Little Rock Arkansas. In all my years it had never been mentioned. I attempted to do the last name search on my grandmother’s maiden name but my search didn’t yield any results. So once again I pushed the idea out of my mind. Over the years I’ve wondered about where my family originated but felt frustrated with each dead end. However, it is my hope that this ancestry test will provide another starting point in my journey to find out more about my lineage.

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I’ve had all kind of dreams on the subject in the last five years. When I started horseback riding back in 2016, I was often visited by what felt like a paternal great great grandfather. I often felt like he was guiding and protecting me as I learned to ride. I got the impression from his visits that he was a great horseman. In the visions, he was always seated on top of this beautiful brown horse. I felt very connected to him and as if he had chosen to help me discover a deeper part of who I was on that journey. In the dreams, he appeared to be Native American. For months we trotted along in slow motion then one day the horse took off running and instead of being scared I felt at home and protected. That experience gave me a greater appreciation for nature, animals and my inner wild child. I am a firm believer that spiritual beings and ancestors are very much a part of our everyday lives. It is my hope that I can confirm some of my experiences through this process.

It’s funny how things around you start to happen when a particular decision is made. I have wanted to travel to Africa for at least two years but to be honest felt a little nervous about traveling their solo. I have traveled to several countries by myself at this point. In retrospect, I know my ignorance and fears have kept me from taking this journey sooner. As a youth, I remember being bombarded with negative images of Africa. Most imagery included war, rape, and starvation. But I also remember being very intrigued by the continent as well. As I book lover, I’ve read a wide array of books about African life and culture. However, unconsciously some of those negative ideas have still lingered somewhere in my psyche. But I made the decision a few months ago that I would journey to the motherland in 2019. Since I made that decision I have received two invitations to travel there with friends.

I’ve also started having dreams about doing work over in South Africa. I don’t know what the work is at the moment but I feel that it will indeed be life-changing. All these I interpret as spiritual nudging. My dreams never lie to me and when I indulge in them I always come back feeling enlightened and more unapologetic about the choices that I have made in this life.

Peace and Blessings

Living In My Truth: Life of a Hyphenated Hustler

Posted on January 24, 2018 by Tiffanie

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Majority of my focus last year was on building my wellness business, I decided to shift gears in the fourth quarter to dip my foot back into the accounting world. Actually, once I made up my mind that I would be leaving my corporate job, I immediately created Luellen Consulting Services LLC which of course provides accounting services. I made this decision for several reasons a) I have an amazing skill set and a wide range of experience b) I have always been mindful of not burning bridges and maintaining good work relationships c) I am professional and relatable. This means I allow others to see my authentic self and others can connect with it. I can see a task to completion and not be afraid to recite trap music while I’m doing it. I can run a department and share a funny story about my perspective on life. Years ago I thought you could only be one way at work and you had to hide your true identity until after hours. Transparency requires you to live both lives at the same time.

Transparency has no parameters, it’s freeing to the spirit. It’s, even more, freeing when you can share your story about balancing your real life journey. My current journey involves me being a hyphenated hustler. I am a full-time entrepreneur that on occasion works a corporate 9 to 5. I am a planner and like to think ahead. I maintain a certain financial threshold that I consistently check to make sure I am on track to keeping a roof over my head and being able to run a business. I also know as a new business owner, which means everything you make the first couple of years has to be reinvested immediately to ensure longevity. While I made pretty good income from my business in 2017 ($40K), it was a bit inconsistent and I had to use some of my savings. Prior to 2017, my business income never surpassed $10K so I’m proud of my progress. I would also like to keep the momentum going and gain more consistency. In order to do that I have to keep my business funded. Funding will allow me to continue advertising, marketing, and networking to keep my brand relevant. Needless to say, I had to think about what can I do to raise a lot of money to sustain my wellness business as I go into 2018. The answer was of course to moonlight in my old vocation.

I initially had mixed emotions about it. I was concerned about how I would balance full-time entrepreneurship with a corporate 9 to 5. I have gotten used to a more open schedule but I reasoned with myself that it’s short term so I could push through the fear. I spend the first 2-3 hours of my day working on my business before I head out to the 9 to 5. I also work over lunch and after work to keep things going. When you are passionate about something, it’s hard to sleep without pursuing it. I do my best Monday through Friday then use the weekends to do everything else.

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I was also concerned about how others would view my choice. Here I was planning a Quit Your Job Conference but working a 9 to 5 to help fund the event. The truth is all of my decisions are related to staying in business. Rather than go out of business due to pride, I had to let my fear go. I could either temporarily balance the two or deal with the consequences of not surviving and having to permanently go back into the corporate world. The lesson learned was most people judging my decision have probably not ever stepped out into entrepreneurship and would only understand once they had the experience. Living your dream is a process and very humbling, yet every step is rewarding and takes you out of your comfort zone into the unknown. The beauty of consulting is I still have the option of leaving once my goal is met without creating bad ties or burning bridges. I also have the option of working with the same company at a later date if I choose. In a full-time position sometimes your soon to be former employer take your decision to leave personal and will shun you because they are disappointed or upset. Being a consultant says my time here is limited and I don’t have to hide it. You also earn a lot more per hour as a consultant. My ultimate goal from a consulting standpoint is to hire a couple of people and eventually only serve as manager. Therefore, the connection I am making today, I can use at a later date as well. As a hyphenated hustler, you always have to think five steps ahead. I’ve made peace with my decision and I’m looking forward to 2018 being better than 2017.

Peace and Blessings

The Season of Gratitude

Posted on November 23, 2017 by Tiffanie

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It is officially turkey day and never before have I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I am pretty sure this blind faith mindset has a lot to do with my feelings of gratefulness. I have always believed myself to be a spiritual person but like most I believed my Creator could cover me until… Until can be any limitation you think is bigger than what is possible for your life. What do I mean by that? I mean that in my mind I put limits on what was possible because of the things I had seen or not seen happen in other people’s lives. For a long time, I didn’t make the connection, that the Creator operates from a different space and has a different set of plans. I also learned that just because you want something or think you deserve something does not mean it’s always for your highest good. I think you are always provided with your highest good. The seeds you have sown also play a role in your harvest. In some instances, there are some things you have to learn to be properly equipped to maintain that harvest. Once the harvest comes if you have no means of transporting or storing the rewards, then it becomes wasted effort. Since the Creator’s vantage point is better than mine, I have to trust the process more often than not.

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A month ago I created a list of all the situations that at the time I didn’t know how I would resolve them. I immediately had 8-10 examples of situations which worked out better than I could have imagined. The moment I stopped worrying and start allowing, forward movement occurred. That’s not to say those things happened overnight. When I look at my pattern, my resolution timeline is up to two years. That means from start to finish, it can take up to two years for a resolution to appear. Most situations clear up in less time than that but rarely has it been over two years. Patience and gratitude come in handy in the stillness. I’ve learned to take up my ‘do nothing’ posture while the universe moves mountains on my behalf. My prayers and meditation are reaching the ears of those capable of helping me to bring forth what’s for my highest good. When I’m praying I try to end it with some variation of “whatever is of the highest good for myself and all those impacted by this request”. There are times when I am afraid that these things won’t appear. There are times when I get impatient. There are also times when I remember to just be thankful for, however, it turns out.

As I create my vision for 2018, I am also reminded to just be thankful for what already exists. I am reminded to take a moment and reflect on all the good things that have occurred thus far. I also reflect on those areas that were truly meant to teach me a lesson. I can now reflect on the times I got it wrong. I try not to see negative experiences without reflecting on the positive aspects of them. When you interpret an experience as negative only, you miss the bigger picture and will most likely repeat that experience. Repetition creates a pattern and patterns can lead to stagnation. Purposely being thankful for the season is what attracts more things to be thankful for in the coming seasons.

Peace and Blessings

A Sister Siesta: Mental Rest in a Safe Place

Posted on November 15, 2017 by Tiffanie

A Sister’s Siesta: Mental Rest In A Safe Place is a monthly platform for connecting women of color to discuss relevant issues in our workplaces and other settings. Every month is a different theme to tackle.

I attended my first A Sister Siesta event last night which was an open discussion on our accomplishments for 2017. I honestly didn’t know what to expect but it ended up being the most empowering two and a half hours of my year. I sat at a table with Jasmin, Certified Professional Career Coach and at least fifteen women. We were tasked with taking some time to write out our accomplishments in the following categories; professional, spiritual, physical, relational and emotional. Although at the end of the year I write out my accomplishments, it never dawned on me to break them out into these categories. However, Bianca K. Hughes, Associate Professional Counselor, and facilitator pointed out most people only focus on professional accomplishments while the other areas remain in the shadows.

As I was writing I realized I had so many first in 2017 and all of my accomplishments for this year were a direct result of having the courage to quit my job and step out on faith. My family and friends have been overwhelmingly supportive and share how proud they are of me, however, this was the first time I actually sat down to take inventory of my success. I came from an era and culture where sharing your accomplishments was seen as arrogance. As a woman, I also learned to dim my light to keep other people from feeling uncomfortable. This is an old mentality that no longer fits who I am. I want others to know that finding your path and purpose won’t allow you to stay hidden from other people. I’ve gotten into a space where I want to tell anyone who will listen and my truth has nothing to do with anyone else’s life. My truth is meant to reach, inspire and motivate those that look like me and anyone who aspires to find their happy. Our ‘happy’ might not look the same but it only takes one person, message, or thought to inspire change in someone else. If my courage and journey only help one person then my work here is done. My legacy is forever etched at this time because I had the courage to follow my spiritual promptings and walk out into the unknown.

So when the facilitators asked who wanted to share their accomplishments I damn near stood up and pushed the table over. I was that excited and I wanted to be heard. In my head, this task was all about me. I’ve gone from hardly sharing anything to wanting to authentically sharing everything. That alone is an accomplishment. Below is a partial list of what I shared with this group.

Professional

Quit my job for fulltime entrepreneurship
Self-published my first book
Curated my first ‘Quit Your Job in 90 Days Conference‘ (scheduled for Jan 2018)

Spiritual

Actively practiced walking on blind faith and pushed through my fears in 2017

Physical

Increased self care regimen and feel more rested.

Emotional

Gained insight on areas I still need to heal especially as it relates to my immediate family
Allowed my family and friends to support me, previously I was very private and wouldn’t ask for anything. Now I chose to share my journey with them. I choose to be open to them supporting me spiritually, mentally, emotionally and financially.
Connected more and for longer periods of time with family and friends

Relational

Reconnected with someone from the past. I am open and available for love. I am able to verbalize what I want and need and this person has been open to meeting me where I am.

So 2017 has truly been a good year for me. Last weekend I was up writing my vision for 2018 and I got so elated about the possibilities. Everyone must attend an empowerment event like A Sister’s Siesta, it might change how you view who you are.

Peace and Blessings

Love Is My Religion

Posted on September 27, 2017 by Tiffanie

I am not a Buddhist but I believe in some Buddhist principles.

I am not a Hindi but I believe in some Hindi principles.

I am not a Christian but I believe in some Christian principles.

I am not Muslim but I believe in some Muslim principles.

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. JONATHAN SWIFT, Thoughts on Various Subjects from Miscellanies

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Love is my religion. I believe in a higher power that goes by many names. My religion of love has many faces and messengers. A few years ago, I researched the differences between the major world religions and concluded that the essence of the message is the same. Each religion promotes its ideology in a context that’s understandable for their culture. After my research, there was no need to judge which one was better. I allowed myself to accept and respect all religions. My acceptance and respect are not in contradiction to my own belief system, it actually expanded my perception of who I was and how I fit in the world. My only choice was to make love my religion. Love is a universal concept that’s bigger than my individual beliefs. Love expands my heart so that I can accept who stands before me.

Now more than ever we are being asked to exam our belief system. The time has come to eliminate the ideology that keeps the world separated and stagnated. I don’t have to recap current events for this statement to resonate with others. The only solution is a shift from divisiveness to loving unity. In truth divisiveness is a distraction, it has always been a distraction from authenticity. Love does not diminish it actually lights the path to finding your place in the world.

Never be angry with your neighbor because his religious views differ from your own; for all the branches of a tree to not lean the same way. WILLIAM SCOTT DOWNEY, Proverbs

I had the experience this past weekend of being judged by the symbols I surround myself with. I had a booth at an event in North Carolina. This was my first time in the city and I received an overall positive reception. However, I was also shocked by the response to a Buddha statue head that I displayed in my space. My intention is always to display peace and enlightenment. In a world with so much noise, I want others to experience love and peace in my presence and in my sacred space. A couple of people openly voiced their hesitation in approaching me because of the Buddha statue. When I was allowed to respond, I shared what this symbol represented for me. These teachable moments are what inspire me to keep showing up as my authentic self. Perception is based on either personal experience or lack of exposure. As I continue to walk in love, I allow myself to be used as a vessel to change perceptions. I accept my mission. I am a spiritual being having a human experience and love is my religion.

Peace and Blessings

Brand Your Uniqueness

Posted on August 31, 2017 by Tiffanie

In addition to networking events, I try to attend conferences that either inspire, empower or educate me. My intention is to continue to push forward by surrounding myself with those who have much more experience and exposure as business owners. Earlier this week, I attended the 15th Annual Moving Your Business Forward conference hosted by the Atlanta Tribune. The event started with a panelist of representatives from several big named corporations including Home Depot, AT & T, Grady Hospital, GoDaddy and of course Atlanta Tribune. The panelist provided insight about how small business owners can present themselves to big corporations and the importance of preparation for the opportunity. The topics ranged from professionalism to scalability of your business model.

Afterwards, there were breakout sessions that focused on new technology, live business pitch, and branding in the current social media climate. Shawn Pfunder, Senior Communications Director for GoDaddy was the highlight of the event. Shawn also interviews small business owners for Steve Harvey’s Funderdome show on ABC.

Shawn’s been working with freelancers, entrepreneurs, and business owners for more than 20 years. He’s consulted companies large and small on communication, social media, and marketing strategies. At heart he’s a small-business superfan. He believes that working for yourself is one of the most courageous and creative moves anyone can make.

Three small business owners were selected to share their pitch with the audience who would vote for a winner. After each pitch, Shawn Pfunder asked a series of questions about each company to gauge their marketing strategy to create and expand their online presence. The winner Yvette Pegues owner of Your Invisible DisAbility Group captured the audience with her passion for her business. In addition to sharing her business model and strategy, she shared her real life experience about what it was like to live with a disability. Although she is paralyzed she discussed her refusal to allow her disability to take over her life. Yvette has a very active life that includes skydiving. Her words were inspirational and spoke to the courage that all business owners need to find their passion and follow their purpose.

The last segment was a presentation by Shawn Pfunder as he shared the importance of finding your identity as a person and incorporating your uniqueness into your brand. He provided multiple examples of how creating your authentic story and allowing yourself to be less than perfect is what makes your brand unique and relatable. He discussed how social media is key to your future growth potential and provided tips on how you can share your uniqueness over social media.

The more human you are, the more likely you are to standout. – Shawn Pfunder

I walked away with a lot to think about. I immediately sat down to think more about my personal and business identity and how I could marry the two. I created a list of the top ten things that identify or define who I am. Then I did the same with my business. I almost instantly saw the advantage of this exercise. I could see where I am not connecting my uniqueness with the service I provide. I instantly started thinking of ways to rectify this. This event was very eye-opening and I definitely walked away with more than I expected. If you are trying to create your brand start by making a list of the top ten things that define you and your company. I’d love to hear your feedback below.

Peace and Blessings

Gratitude and Acknowledgement

Posted on July 31, 2017 by Tiffanie

I recently personally thanked a friend for attending one of my classes. He curiously asked if I hadn’t expected him to come. I explained my view on expectations, basically, I had none. It is my belief that all who should be there will be there. This allows me not to focus on attendance but beyond that, it keeps me in a constant state of gratitude. It’s an authentic gratitude because I know at that moment a person has many options on how to spend their time. It is not my right to obligate anyone or to tie my success into someone else’s actions. When a student appears I see it as alignment. My choice to lead combined with their choice to attend is alignment, not a coincidence. Whenever I get to share a part of me with someone else, I am thankful.

Not everyone operates under this belief system. We often assume family and friends know we appreciate them. It takes two seconds to acknowledge someone’s effort and help free them from guilt, sorrow or feeling they’ve disappointed you because of expectations. Not everyone in your life is meant to serve in the capacity in which you want them to. They may want another role or serve a completely different purpose. Letting go of expectations and allowing others to show up how they choose reduces internal and external conflicts.

When you operate from a space of no expectations, you allow the universe to send who is supposed to be there. After class, I could call everyone to find out why they didn’t make it to class. I could get so caught up in the drama of expectations that I miss the opportunity to see the people who have a genuine interest in what I do. Expectations become a distraction and could cause me to miss out on the person who wants to explain the impact my class has had on them. I do not focus my attention on what’s not in my control instead I focus on what is presented to me in that moment. The moment someone appears I instantly become thankful. I feel gratitude for being allowed to guide them. I openly show my appreciation but I also silently send blessings as well. Whether we accept it or not we are being guided. Therefore I purposely thank people for their time and acknowledge the light that guided them into my personal universe. The people that choose to come to my mindfulness classes are making an investment in themselves. The alignment is bigger than me and I am honored to be their leader. My gratitude is sincerely to encourage them to keep following their light even if that light does not lead them back to me.

Peace and Blessings

Unresolved Experiences

Posted on June 13, 2017 by Tiffanie

In one of the many events I’ve attended over the last few days I met a former yoga instructor. She spent a lot of time talking about how she transitioned from yoga to specializing in pain management. She also spent a lot of time explaining to me why she was no longer a yoga instructor most of it centered around how it was somewhat beneath her now. She’s advanced her career so much that now she was a paid speaker. Listening to her rant didn’t have me convinced enough to go look for her events. Clearly we talked about what we do but she was set on tell me how their was no money in my industry because people didn’t value the service. Much like any uninterested party I began to tune out her message. It didn’t apply to me and I had no need.

The next morning her words began to echo in my head. Then it came to me that maybe the people who came to her didn’t value her as an instructor because she didn’t value her own service. It’s also possible that she started down a path to get her somewhere else. Meaning her experience was part of the journey but not the destination. Instead of having an awareness, she was projecting on to me her unsuccessful experience. Projecting ones’ experience is an unconscious coping mechanism used to deal with unhealed emotions and unresolved experiences. Rather than acknowledging our own fears, feelings and wounds we make them someone else’s problem. Or we provide them with a platform on how that person should expect to a similar outcome, uncertainty or fate.

We are the sum of our experiences. It seems to me she changed vocations but hadn’t changed her mindset. In fact her message of empowering others through awareness of the body was similar to my own. The only difference is I value what I do. I find purpose in my message. I find purpose in helping other people create a purposeful life. I find purpose in hearing other creators’ stories. We are all creating something whether we are conscious of it or not. I find purpose in being supportive and positive. When I learned to myself and my experiences, I found purpose in my thoughts, words and actions. I learned to value my gifts and experiences. Therefore the people attracted to me will have the same qualities.

When someone is projecting their experiences, fears and uncertainty pay attention. As you hear the message determine if it’s positive and uplifting or negative and unuseful. Become the observer and listen for the underline message. Notice the messengers’ body movements and facial expressions. Think about the following

Does the person seem to be a subject matter expert?
Is the focus on their view of their experience? Did they have a positive outcome?
Does the person seem comfortable with their experience?
Is the person self-absorbed? Is the person even listening to you?
How is that message tied into the messengers experience?
Is the person explaining what you should expect?
Is the message about protecting you from harm or preventing you from making a mistake?
Are you being offered unsolicited advice on how to run your life and/or business?
Does the message seem logical or anyway tied into what you have already experienced?
If still in doubt after you leave the person does any part of their message resonate with you?
Did it inspire you forward or bring you to your knees in fear of the what ifs?

If you are still unsure find a quiet place and ask your inner self if this was a projection of the speakers fears and how can you learn from the experience. Then send love to and thank the messenger. That person provided a crash course in how to deal with unsolicited projections from other people.

Peace and Blessings