East Coasting

I am eight months into this Washington DC adventure. WE are family so I am going to be completely transparent. The first four months were tough and I was MISERABLE!!!!! I am rarely miserable so when I am, it feels like the end of the world. I mean who moves from Atlanta right before the winter. I promise you it made perfect sense at the time but the cold weather and snow was messing with my psyche… add in that everything just came to a standstill and not in a good way. So that just added to my disappointment.  Then I got sick and my eyes were bothering me. I kept trying to get into a routine because I know a routine stabalizes my mood but I was having no luck.

I eventually stumbled across two books that changed the game for me “Prosperity Bible” and “Money and the Law of Attraction”.  If you don’t feel motivated after reading those, then I don’t know what will motivate you. There were days when I would read for 6 hours straight, go to yoga, come home and get back in the bed. In February, I started to feel better.  I am now fully back to being my random self and surprisingly extremely happy. I mean happy like that coworker who comes in yelling ‘good morning’ while you roll your eyes because you know nobody could be that damn happy on a Monday. So yep I am happy like her.  I wake up smiling because the east coast tides have changed for your girl.  I am going to act like the first four months didn’t happen and I’ll share with you what I’ve been up to since February.

Podcast

While I love blogging, I don’t always have time to do it.  So in the fall, I decided to start a podcast. I was amped up about it until I went into my funk. Now I am back at it and launching this week.  This podcast, of course, will be a compilation of where I am in life.  I will share my spiritual experiences, along with tools that led to finding my purpose. The only difference is now you get to hear my voice and the voice of my amazing guest.

Business

My yoga business, I pushed it to the side but it keeps calling me. So I am going to attempt to do what other entrepreneurs have said is impossible, I am going to run two business simultaneously. Which I’ve been kind of doing anyway because I love them both equally and in truth, they kind of move on separate cycles.  I didn’t think I would love having an accounting business but I got my first DC client a month ago and I just love her. She is the ultimate client. She sees me as her advisor and I really feel like I am able to make an impact. I am looking forward to being the financial pulse of her nonprofit organization.

Mentoring

I am also back in mentor mode.  Young people are entertaining and I love their energy so volunteered to be a student liaison at the University of Maryland.  These are college students so of course, they know everything and they spend quite a bit of time ignoring my email. I am working on building trust with them.  That’s my project for the year, to connect with these 20-year-olds and help make their transition into the real world a little easier than it was for me. I didn’t have enough sense back then to know I needed a mentor.  I actually was probably not the idea mentee up until about 2018 so I get it. Whenever someone suggested I get a mentor, I’d roll my eyes and wonder how could a mentor really add value.  So I am attempting to build a bridge for them that I didn’t build for myself when I was that age.

Travel

I canceled my trip to South Africa but I don’t regret it. I was supposed to go in February but as I said around that time things weren’t going as planned so I sadly canceled my ticket. Which was probably for the best because it’s hard to enjoy a place when you are in a bad mood. The motherland is still in my sights and with luck, I shall grace her presence within the next 12 months.

Dating

I am rolling my eyes as I am typing this.  I decided in addition to getting out the house,  I also would get back on a dating app. It only took about two weeks before I posted in my profile “don’t ask me about my vagina”.  Maybe I should create an app called “don’t ask me about my vagina”.   I know apps are all about hooking up but damn can you pretend to get to know me first.  That is literally one of my biggest pet peeves besides being sent unsolicited pictures of men’s male parts.  We are human so its a given that if we are vibing and I’m into you, it will most likely go that way. Asking me two conversations in is a turn off. Does anybody in this generation have any patience any more??? I will dedicate a whole post to dating in the nation’s capital so stay tuned.

Peace and Blessings

 

 

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Keep Leaping Into The Unknown

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I can’t believe we are already five months into 2019. I came into 2019 with some really big ideas but execution got off to a slow start. I kept getting stuck at how.  How is this going to happen? How am I going to do this by myself? Why don’t I  have any concrete answers? When you have big ideas the ‘what’ comes pretty easily but the ‘how’ is trickier. My inner critic was testing my spiritual gangster as usual. I was stuck there for a few months. Procrastination was impacting my life. Inaction was masking the fear I was feeling.

I’ve uprooted my life on a whelm and made all these promises (to myself) that I was no longer sure I could fulfill. Classic feelings of imposter syndrome crept into my life, threatening my independence. I knew how to create this new life in my mind but getting it to play out in my reality is a whole other ball game. We are five months in and I still haven’t figured out the how. What I did figure out is that I just needed to relax. When in doubt relax. We always have two choices. We can get to the finish line calm and relaxed or with our wig flipped inside out and one shoe on.

Here are some suggestions for getting to the finish line with peace in one piece.

Enjoy the journey and get out of your head. I have a high achiever mentality, I can’t help it. I always feel like I could be doing more. Although I never feel like I am in competition with others, I am always on a journey to reach a little higher or explore a different avenue. I was talking to my friend’s mom and she lovingly said but you have accomplished so much. She went to list off my accomplishments. I was stuck because she was right and at that moment I was being ungrateful. So I checked myself and thanked her for that reflection.

Give yourself some grace. If you are doing your best, you will accomplish the goals you set for yourself.  So be kind to yourself in the meantime. It’s easy to give others grace but we need to turn that magic wand on ourselves sometimes.

Look at your history.  Once we accomplish something we forget and move on to the next thing. That’s just the nature of being human. We were born to desire, desire is what leads to experience and expression. However, if you move on to the next thing too quickly you can’t pull from that experience. I love writing out my lessons learned because it gives me a moment to see how I have applied what life is teaching me. My overriding themes seem to be connected to forgiveness, releasing fear, trusting the unknown, opening my heart more and teaching others.  If you think about it, all those themes are related and I talk about these areas a lot. The truth is when you do not learn from your experiences, you will repeat it. Think about the one person who has the same complaint. Unless they are working on resolving that complaint, it will be the same complaint twenty years from now. So take a moment and look at your history and decide if your life is on repeat or if it’s evolving.

Peace and Blessing

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Is Your Spirituality Suffering Because of Your Busyness

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By Sarah Roberts, Guest Contributor

Do you always feel like you have too much on your plate, too many tasks to do and not enough time to get to everything? With the modern pace of life we are all busy, but it is also possible to be busy without letting our spiritual selves suffer.


Whatever spiritual journey you are on, just li
ke every other journey (weight loss, a new course of study, starting a new business) it doesn’t just happen, but requires time and effort. It is easier to find the time you need if you structure your life in such a way that prioritises your spiritual journey. This isn’t a crash diet, just like a fitness journey, you need to change your lifestyle and your habits to integrate the things that you need to do.


Once you have decided that nurturing yourself and pursuing your spiritual journey is a priority in your life, now begins the task of finding the time you need. Here are some ideas for
 opening up space for your spiritual journey in your busy life.


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Start your day with intention

Do something at the start of your day to make a connection with your spiritual practice. This doesn’t mean waking up at 4am to squeeze in 2 hours of meditation before the normal alarm time. You can start by simply taking 5 minutes to think about your spiritual priorities and what is important to you. This helps keep them in the front of your mind for the day.


Be honest about how you spend your time

Take an honest and brutal look at how you spend your time and be honest with yourself about here there is space. How will your life be improved if you manage to finish that Netflix series this week as opposed to if you devote that time to your spiritual journey? How much time are you spending flicking through Instagram and Facebook at night before going to bed? Is this having a negative impact on your mood and self-image and how could this time better be spent. We all have things like this in our lives that we could cut back on to make space for the things that are important.

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Multitask

Washing the dishes, or doing the laundry, automatic tasks that don’t require you to think? Use this time to contemplate your spiritual challenges. Psychologists suggest that we do some of our most profound thinking when we are occupied with tasks that we can do on ‘autopilot’ as the task-oriented parts of our brain are occupied with doing, the creative parts of our brain can come to the fore. This is why many people report having their best ideas when they are driving.


Also use your time in the car or walking. You
 probably don’t want to embark on a deep spiritual meditation while behind the wheel, but you can listen to relevant audiobooks or podcasts that feed your soul.


Use interruptions

Sometimes our schedule suffers interruptions that we cannot control. We have to wait 45 minutes for our doctor’s appointment. Our train is unexpectedly cancelled or delayed. Rather than getting frustrated, think of these as unexpected opportunities to focus on yourself and your spiritual journey.

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Set yourself small, achievable goals

Often, we fail at things because we come up with a grand goal, and our progress towards it is so slow that we lose motivation. Or we set ourselves challenges that are too great – such as aiming to meditate for an hour a day when you don’t feel like you even have 5 minutes to yourself. While you may have some ultimate grand goal, daily set yourself small, achievable goals. Meditate for just 5 minutes if you are starting out. Write just half a page in your journal. Find one new reading such as mindfulness and calming books that are relevant to your goal.


While these actions may seem small and insufficient for us to reach the vision of a spiritual life that we have for ourselves, remember that they are just a starting point. For example, once you start meditating and see its benefits and start to enjoy it, your will be amazed how you manage to find more time for it as it becomes more important to you.

Lines of Vision

As I shared a few months ago, I relocated from Atlanta to Washington DC in September. After spending half of 2018 feeling drained and out of sync, I finally made a spiritually prompted decision. My first month I focused on unpacking and relaxing. I spent most of November traveling. In my mind, I’d be ready to jump into this DC thing ie networking, finding clients and enjoying the city in December. Unfortunately, those aspirations were temporarily put on hold because of a little eye inflammation.

 

I can, in all honesty, admit that I didn’t take the best care of myself while I was traveling. My goal was to travel with one carry-on which meant quite a few things could not fit in my bag. I struggled the whole time with the six to seven hour time difference. I definitely wasn’t drinking my usual amounts of water and I only ate about once a day. I had an amazing time but I knew I was so out of sync the entire time.

After three weeks of traveling, I returned to the US with a cold and this inflammation. The cold left quickly but the inflammation has lingered on for two weeks. I have been a contact wearer most of my life and have had my share of irritations when it comes to my eyes but this by far has been the most eye-opening (no pun intended). Imagine walking around with blurred vision for two weeks. I was advised to stop wearing contacts and that it might take up to a month for it to fix itself. I generally can’t see far away anyway but this caused me not to be able to see up close either. I couldn’t drive, read, watch tv or enjoy any of the luxuries connected with full eyesight. In retrospect, I believe the more I tried to see, it only extended my spiritual time out. My body communicates with me in ‘mystical’ ways and when I miss the smaller messages it eventually leads to being pushed into resting and reflecting. About three days ago I finally surrendered to the message. I started focusing on just listening and not trying to use my sight. I had to then take stock of what was the bigger lesson.

In my everyday life, I am a business owner but I am not the best business owner yet. That’s not taking a shot at myself, it’s an honest assessment with the precursor that I am still doing my best with what I know. I am also open to becoming better. It’s just like anything else if something is new, you have to work at it to be great. So part of my assignment in relocating is to create a mission, vision and core values for my business. Although I incorporated almost two years ago, I never laid the foundation of who am I, who do I serve and how. Now that I’m ready to grow and expand, I’m truly not attuned to what the hell I’m growing and expanding. I know I am not alone in doing this, often we rush out into ‘doing’ without considering what foundation needs to be laid. Then we wonder why we are stagnant, why our career isn’t satisfying, why our relationships are failing, or why we feel like something is missing. It’s because we never stopped to think about an intention, a vision or an end goal. We ask for a relationship but don’t visualize it succeeding or attune to if its the right person. We ask for a promotion but rarely prepare for the responsibilities. On a surface level, I wanted to make money but that idea provides no direction or roadmap towards my true intention.

I think so often we want to get to the fun part and miss key points. On a spiritual level, I feel like my temporary loss of eyesight is in direct correlation with not having a vision for my life. Yesterday I meditated and documented my personal mission, vision, and set of core beliefs. I was so geeked because now I have a baseline to start from. All these things existed within me but I never pulled them to the surface. Yesterday was also the first day my right eye’s vision came in sharply. It was probably about twelve hours later but I’m sure as hell giving my guides and inner self credit for it. My point is until we get very clear and intentional, we won’t have an accurate picture of what we are doing or creating. Once we are clear, everything else opens up.

Peace and Blessings

African In America

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I’ve often steered clear of the slavery topic as an adult.  Especially in recent years with the resurgence of slavery movies. I watched enough of them in my youth to get it. I am in no way minimizing history, the experience, or its impacts.  However, I often felt this resurgence was just another hidden way to revictimize people of color and reinforce ideas of oppression.

As an African America, I also felt like that wasn’t our only history.  Slavery is a small drop in a bucket of history that should span back hundreds of thousands of years. In anticipation of my journeys to Africa and ancestry results, I am having to confront or at least make peace with slavery and the slave trade that took millions of African to other countries without their consent.  When I hear other cultures speak of their entry into this country it was by choice. They left their birthplace in search of better opportunities and/or living conditions. I feel like part of the misunderstanding of the Africa experience in America is related to the residue of being taken without choice and being forced into an oppressive system where you are seen as inferior. Although slavery in America ended on paper in 1865, it’s remnants are far from erased from the memories of Africa descendants born into this country.

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From a spiritual standpoint there are no mistakes and somewhere in the universe people of color chose their mission.  If there is an all-knowing presence and each person is sent to earth with a mission and purpose, then those two have to be connected to the color of our skin at least on a spiritual level.

Fear and programming have kept masses of Africans in place in order to perpetuate the ultimate betrayal of mind, body, and spirit. This betrayal cannot be ignored and still takes place on a daily basis. There is a karmic impact created by all choices. Each party has its role and I am sure that the ultimate sacrifice of being oppressed must be leading somewhere. Although I never feel spiritually bound by theses ideas, its hard not to be impacted by the heaviness of what you see and hear in this realm. In all cultures there seems to be a sacrificial lamb. A part that endures more suffering at the expense of others. The various spiritual text I’ve read confirms this.

If the goal is to bring in more love, light and understanding then that can only be done after atrocities of humanity take place. I don’t think you can understand universal love without taking a peek at its opposition.  Despite how it looks, in my spirit, I feel a shifting of the tides. This shift will be lead by love and compassion. I’m ready to make peace with the past and move toward an idea of oneness.

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Love and Light.

The Life of A Seeker

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I was having a conversation with a person I was getting to know. In the midst of sharing some random idea and the person cut me off mid-sentence to say “you always seem to be on some kind of journey as if you are still trying to figure yourself out”.

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The truth is I’ve always had a genuine curiosity about life.  I’ve been fascinated with self-help and self-improvement since a teenager.  Since I spend most of my time with myself, its only natural that I am the subject of my own curiosity.  I have a wild imagination and my dreams speak to me.  If I read it or it peaks my interest I want to experience it.  I get tired of a lot of things but what I’ve never been able to shake is this curiosity about myself and the world around me. Even at this age, I still feel like there is so much more out there to experience and learn from. My need for solitude and freedom steams from this daily inquisition.  In solitude I’m able to cultivate the ideas and freedom allows me to roam the planet at my own leisure to find my own answers.  As a result, I’ve had a wide range of experiences that some cannot identify with.

 

A fully engaged spiritual seeker is more like an arsonist, setting fire to people’s comfort and feeding the flames with courage and love. And it begins with setting fire to the comfort of your own “home”. ~ Gary Z McGee

Although we all have a desire to be understood and accepted, that need has never trumped my desire to see where these urgings within will lead. Seekers are just born that way, they cannot help it.  My purpose is tied to this lifelong path of self-discovery. Some may ask what exactly are you seeking.  The answer is knowledge and experience.  An idea comes to mind, I research and read about it.  From there either my curiosity is satisfied or I create the scenario to experience the idea.  Once the idea is experienced, then I move on to the next concept.  This way of life is a series of mini journeys yet all of the journeys are interconnected. Each choice leading me somewhere new. Without options, I might feel a sense of boredom that I hear others speak about. I have rarely experienced boredom. I’ve never had enough time to get bored between reading, writing, learning and experiencing there is little time left for it. Even in my downtime, I’m usually daydreaming about my next adventure.

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Peace and Blessings

2018 and Beyond

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It’s halfway through 2018 and I finally feel like my year has started.  It started six months ago but I was feeling off centered and not like my normal self.  I wasn’t feeling motivated to do anything besides go to this contract position and sleep.  Everything had kind of fallen by the wayside including meditation, exercise, networking, writing, and blogging…all the things that kept me on course in 2017.

I felt drained the first half of the year. I struggled with trying to find my balance so I stopped trying and shifted my focus.  I decided to focus on my diet and attempted to cut meat.  I did pretty well the first thirty days until I smelled meat one day and an overwhelming craving for it took over. Although I don’t intend to be a vegan I love glancing at the lifestyle and learning about it. This gave me something different to focus on.  I also started back reading.  Since I was home laying in bed most of the time, it felt natural to occupy my mind.  So I surrounded my bed with biographies, self-help, and metaphysical books. My awareness of quantum metaphysics, gene keys and archetypes has dramatically expanded. I also watched every mythological movie I could find on Netflix.  I have always been curious about the human psyche, patterns, and life stories. So I fed my mind and extended my vision. Although I felt physically drained for the first half, all the other things made me feel mentally strong and intact.

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Today I finally feel like I have come full circle and have slowly eased back into my routine but not without deciding to make some changes in my life. I have been in Atlanta for eleven years and although I have grown to love it, right now I feel a sense of stagnation.  Granted I’ve made dramatic changes in my life in the last year, I still feel like there is one more thing I should be doing. I feel completely free to write my next chapter in any way I chose.  I’m choosing to write it outside of Atlanta. So I’m off to my next adventure in another city for the next six to twelve months. Maybe all the rest from the first half was preparing me for this moment.  I feel like I still have so much to accomplish and so much more to share with the world. So I am ready for the next phase. I know when I look back over my life this will turn out to be one of those pivotal moments that changed everything…

Peace and Blessings

 

Employee vs Entrepreneur

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I am five months into an accounting contract.  I originally only planned to be there three months. The company extended the contract due to internal turnover. So, at this point, they still have a need for me. I’ve been asked more than once to come on as a full-time employee and every time I decline the offer.  Although I think it’s a great company, I cannot with a clear conscious commit to fulltime employment. Here is why

  • I am not ready to go back into employee mode at this juncture. I’ve spent sixteen years as an employee, so I know intimately what that life is like. That is not to diminish the experiences, knowledge or accomplishments I had as an employee. Everything I learned in that format I use daily as an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurship is a new challenge and I am still learning how to navigate its terrain. I have acquired so many new skills and even tapped into parts of myself that I didn’t know existed.
  • I feel more freedom to create the type of work that is both empowering for myself and others. While accounting has provided a lot from a financial standpoint, it has rarely been the career that has made me jump out of bed with excitement. It is practical, logical and analytical.  As an accountant you rarely get to live outside of the lines of that structure, however, as a consultant, you have more freedom to suggest and create. There are day to day task that must take place but there is also a space for new ideas and new ways of doing things.  Consultants tend fit in that space and to focus on more project-based work. Consultants attempt to find solutions to problems that either the daily task master don’t have time to resolve or are too close to the process to be innovative.
  • I have a far greater plan than being a team of one. Let’s be honest after closing the books for that many years I can literally do it in my sleep at this point. What I am hoping to start creating from my sleep is a team of efficient and effective accountants who want to continue that legacy or create their own. I feel like my role has transitioned from bean counter to bean connector, meaning offering the opportunities for others to find and fulfill their own purpose. I feel like I would be more useful at cultivating these opportunities as an entrepreneur as opposed to a being a full-time employee. My goal is to have connections within both corporate and small business spheres to then refer these trainees and mentees too. It has been my experience with millennials that they are looking for something more than what currently exists. I also believe it is a part of my purpose to empower others so they can carry the torch.
  • Flexibility is one of the other perks I enjoy as a consultant. While most people are pigeonholed into 2-4 weeks of vacation, as a consultant I can take off as much time as I want. I have always lived far away from family and friends. As I’ve gotten older I have become more attuned to getting reconnected with loved ones. This tugging is far more important than a paycheck. So a vacation schedule in alignment with my current life is more like 2-3 months. This concept is a hard sell to a boss who has not even made this an option for themselves.  In most cases, the sentiment is that you must have a higher pay grade to demand that kind of work-life-balance. However, as a consultant, you learn how to creatively balance the concept of ‘if you don’t work, you don’t eat’. For me, that just involves demanding a higher pay rate and creating more cash reserves on the front end.

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  • I truly enjoy this adventure into the unknown. The truth is I don’t know what is going to happen next. I always feel like I am being lead spiritually so there is no need to know all the steps just yet. The mystery is somewhat of a balancing act.  There are times when nervousness and uncertainty bring to the surface all my worse fears.  There are other times when I hear or feel that people really see and connect with my vision.  Those times confirm that I am headed in the right direction. Even in my failures, I am taking them as just an extra step needed to get the bigger picture. Almost like a rinse and repeat step just to make sure you got it.
  • Finally, I am attempting to get two businesses off the ground at the same time. My first business is going into its third year but still requires my attention. It still requires branding, marketing, sponsorships and new connections. It’s in a good space but I am now struggling with figuring out how to transition from startup phase to expansion phase. The accounting business is a lot more profitable, so I must also focus on making connections to keep it that way. Also, to somewhat merge both lives I’ve started to think about how to create a financial wellness platform to form a creative new perspective at looking at your health and your finances. The two are tied and who better to speak on that relationship? I believe this will open the door to more speaking opportunities and of course more travel.

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Needless to say, there is a lot going on at once in my world.  Although there are moments when I am exhausted, I rarely feel spiritually drained and unhappy about what I am doing.  Every day I wake up I feel more optimistic and closer to my long-term goals.  I think I will always teeter between corporate and entrepreneurship, the two are so ingrained in my experience.  The two questions I ask when I wake up each day are where do you want me to be and how can I empower others using my natural gifts and talents? I accept where that will lead me.

Creative Women’s Co: Chicago Retreat

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This weekend I had the opportunity to attend and speak at Creative Women’s Co first all-inclusive retreat in Chicago.  This retreat was designed to allow women to step away from their busy schedule, recharge their creativity and enjoy quality conversations with like-minded creative women. This was a three-day action-packed event in the heart of downtown Chicago.  The itinerary covered everything from self-care, stress management to gratitude and finding balance. It was held in an intimate space that supported creating new connections and potential future business collaborations amongst the group.  Each woman brought their unique viewpoint and experience to the table.  There was so much synchronicity in the room, that at times most women nodded in agreement as each experience resonating across the room.

This was my first time since college sharing a room with strangers.  I am very picky about who I allow in my personal space especially since we can be subtly impacted by the words and actions of others.  Although I wasn’t initially a fan of the idea, I decided to step out and go with the flow.  I was pleasantly surprised to find how much I had in common with a young lady from France and another who’d recently moved back to Chicago from Portland Oregon.  Although all three of us culturally came from different backgrounds, our stories crossed all boundaries that appeared to keep us separate.  Spiritual connection supersedes race, culture and religious background. It moves beyond the limits most of us choose to live by.  We sat up late at night after the activities for the day ended giggling and discussing entrepreneurship, careers, family, relationships, culture, and spirituality.  Each one of us discussed openly this feeling of knowingness that most people couldn’t relate to.  A knowingness that can be discovered by anyone willing to allow it in. My connection with these women was the highlight of my weekend.

Beyond that, I got a chance to share my expertise and experience with yoga and meditation. I discussed five ways to deal with the stress of working full-time and being an entrepreneur.  I shared my real life experiences and then lead the audience through a series of yoga and meditation techniques they could use in their everyday lives.  I  discussed the importance of creating space in our schedule to prevent burnout and manage stress.  The key to stress management is being aware of your stress triggers, staying attuned to your body language and using a variety of techniques to help you manage through the process.

I learned from this weekend that retreats are powerful ways to create change in your life. Retreats allow you to have a unique experience that only you and other participants can relate to.  Retreats also foster curating lifelong bonds with people from a diverse set of backgrounds. Retreats only require that you appear with an open mind.

Peace and Blessings!

A Father’s Love

I never go home in December. I’m from the Midwest and the winters can be miserable. However, the potential of new life pulled me for my first December home in about 10 years. I left Atlanta excited and in great anticipation of what was to come. I fell in love with those first few days and then winter showed up both literally and figuratively. In the midst of my shifting mood, I decided to do what I had not intended which was go to my source. This trip wasn’t about seeing what already existed, in my mind it was about finding and creating new life. However, when things fall apart the source can be the light at the end of the tunnel.

When I arrived he was there alone. The source I refer to is my dad, the waters from which I came into physical form. One third of the equation so to speak. The Creator and my mother also had their hand in the pot. I honestly didn’t think anyone would be home so I was just planning to sit in my car. I had a lot on my mind.

I’ve always had a great relationship with my dad. He has taught me a lot about life, love and relationships. Once I seen his truck, I immediately got out of my car. We rarely got our time alone. Normally when I go home everyone is there. My dad has had an interesting life and has always taken a special interest in sharing his story with me. I still remember our rides in the car. It would be only us and I don’t think we had a true destination but the conversation was always fascinating. I still quote some of his best advice.

A woman with no man, can never tell a woman with a man how to have a man.

Stay focused on your education because the same men you see today will still be around after you take care of that.

You probably will meet hundreds of men in your lifetime so don’t get caught up with the first one you meet.

He always talked in riddles but I was quick on my feet in the translation department. I listened with my soul and I understood in my heart that he was warning me about being derailed from my path too early in life. He had high hopes for me and saw pieces of himself in me. He made a lot of mistakes but those moments in the car was his opportunity to rewrite his future (me). He was always very candid about his mistakes and he didn’t want me to leave his home without knowing how the world might be once I faced it on my own. I learned from him the value of a man and how I could create healthy relationships with men without feeling the need to take off my clothes in return. A great relationship with your father teaches you that you have more to offer to the world than just your physical form. I learned to rely on my intuition but also on my bullshit barometer. He taught me to look for motives and I learned on my own how to combine the two theories. Blind faith with a keen eye for bullshit. I became a silent observer of people but I also learned to call people on their bullshit (from my mom of course). It doesn’t take long for me to figure most people out but I learned from him to allow people to reveal themselves to you as well. ‘Once you know what you are dealing with then you can respond accordingly.’ My translation of his life lessons.

As I’ve gotten older, I wondered away from him. The amazing thing about the source is they come to understand that your wondering will always lead you back home. So they just wait with open arms, prepared to dust you off, kiss you on the cheek and send you back out in the world. This time was no different. He spoke first and my eyes widened as he spoke about what was on my mind without me needing to verbalize it. At some point I realized he was being spoken through so I listened. We talked for two hours standing on opposite ends of the kitchen. My mother arrived about an hour in but she must have recognized the sacredness of that moment and she allowed us to continue. That day my father said everything I needed to hear. It dawned on me that he knew me in a way most people will never get to know me. We are forever bonded in a way that words can never express.

As I returned back to warmer climates I realized that I still need my father. I also know we are never far apart. Your source will always know exactly what you need. Sometimes they are just waiting for you to ask….

Peace and Blessings