Conscious Curosity: Experience Is Not Always The Best Teacher

Self Love

 

Recently I have been in contact with someone from the distant past. Some things have surfaced as a reminder to remain consciously curious and vigilant about not allowing past experiences to take the fun out of getting to know someone.  Experience has taught me to initially keep my guard up and look for a motive. As I observe my interaction with this person, my normal response seems to be nonexistent as if the guards have somehow gone on lunch break. I find myself tilting my head to the side with conscious curiosity as I try to figure that one out. Conscious curiosity means I slow down long enough to observe my own words, thoughts, and interactions in each situation.

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Spirituality has taught me

  • There is no such thing as coincidence. People appear for a reason, a season or lifetime. I do believe there is a storyline (purpose) that we agreed to prior to coming here. I also believe part of the journey is discovering or reconnecting with that purpose. The people who appear can either take you closer or further away from your purpose and it’s up to us to stay attuned to who is who. It is up to us to ask the question, what am I supposed to learn from this person? I don’t think everyone you meet you are supposed to continue with. I can call to memory at least one lesson from every major relationship I’ve had with other people.

 

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  • Change only comes from awareness. It’s hard to change what you don’t know exist. For years I walked around in a cloud, a protective cloud of ignorance. It was the best thing for me at the time. Some days I wish I could go back to my blissful ignorance, but you can’t make yourself unconscious. You can ignore your conscious, but I’ve learned it only creates conflict that shows up as stress and sleepless nights. I know there are patterns I have repeated and roles in relationships that I have agreed to with my silence. While I have no regrets, I also know that it’s now my responsibility to make different choices in relationships. I have this 60-day rule. The guardian’s post. Where I don’t let an inch of my guard down until I can gauge your intention. Once I know it, even if I don’t like it I know how to handle the situation. I know what category to place the individual in. I never really named them before but I’ll label them as follows; potential, friend zone and not an option. About 80% end up in ‘not an option’. 19% in the ‘friend zone’ and a small 1% end up in ‘potential’.  That means if I meet 100 people only 1 I will consider true potential. On occasion, friend zone occupants can make a leap to potential but sometimes the conversion is rocky. The catch is friend zoned is a necessary evil. It’s rare that upon first introductions you go to the top-tier.  Some see friend zone as the death zone but that’s not always the case with me. ‘Friend zone’ is where I go to make an assessment of your character and true potential.

 

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  • Experience stifles possibility. Sometimes our experiences can leave such a negative imprint that we vow to never repeat. The only catch to that is, it requires us to block all potential. People can show up with really no agenda other than to love you completely. However, pain from the past or an attachment to the possibility of pain can stand in the way.  We stop allowing the impossible to be possible. If I can’t authentically communicate what I need, then I run the risk of never allowing another to step up to meet the need.  When I can’t authentically be myself, it’s hard for me to stay engaged with another because I’m always hiding a part of myself. This is where prayer and meditation have been my ally. Conscious curiosity has become my state of mind.

 

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The last six months I’ve seen glimpses of past experiences as well as the potential for the future. Some experiences were definite deal breakers while others opened my eyes to new possibilities. I trust that my sacred prayers are being received by the universe and each experience is my confirmation.

Peace and Blessings

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6 Months and Counting

It’s the fourth quarter and 2017 has been good to me. I’ve learned so much about entrepreneurship.  No matter how much research you do, nothing can teach you better than real life experiences. Here are the top six things I learned in the last six months.

Businesses are cyclical. I anticipated my slow season and had a one-dimensional idea of what I could do when it arrived. I wanted to spend time with family and friends. That, however, wouldn’t keep my business relevant or in the minds of potential customers. Since my slow season started earlier than anticipated I had to create a new plan.  That plan included me finishing my book, attending more networking events, vending at conferences and self-educating in preparation for the next season.

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Multiple streams of income are imperative. Yoga and meditation provide meaning and direction. I love sharing it with other people.  I’ve come to understand it is just a gateway to other opportunities.  In addition to mindfulness services, I offer meditation supplies at events along with my book. I also provide Reiki healing sessions. All are elements under a wellness umbrella. In addition, I am still a CPA and work on contract assignments as needed.

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Businesses will sell you anything, including what you do not need. My biggest lessons this year have been related to paying for services I didn’t need. I take accountability because it’s my responsibility to make educated purchases. I quickly came to understand that some businesses will knowingly sell you something of no real value to your business. They are in the business to make money.  I started my business to help, empower and inspire other people which leave no room for misleading others. It’s not necessary.  I believe people are lead to me and I have a spiritual responsibility to handle them with love and care. I learned to do more research on the front end and ask other business owners for referrals.

Leveling up is key.  I’ve been paying my dues and making my rounds. I’ve gotten comfortable in my arena and I’m now starting to see the same faces.  I recently decided it was time for me to find a new circle. My intent is to maintain a presence in the current one but to also put myself in a room with people who can teach me more. This is necessary for my long-term growth and prosperity.

Entrepreneurs

Ask for what you want. I am used to being independent and having to figure it out on my own. Entrepreneurship is all about relationships.  You have to ask for support.  You have to personally invite others to your events.  You have to ask for event and product sponsorships. In the business world asking for what you want is not frowned upon.  This is new territory for me but I am up for the challenge.

The best way to establish yourself as a leader in your industry is to plan your own event. Since I published ’60 Affirmations and Reflections for Entrepreneurs’, I’ve been looking for speaking engagements to promote it. The only roadblock is that I am not known as a speaker,  I am still considered a newbie in this arena. Therefore, I have been turned away more times than I’d like to admit.  I don’t take it personally because businesses have to protect their brand and affiliations. Then one day it hit me, instead of asking others for a seat at their table, why not create my own damn table and movement. If I want to prove I’m a great speaker, then I have to create a speaking event.  This lead to the birth of  ‘Quit Your Job in 90 Days’, an event designed for attendees to walk away with an actionable plan to leave an unfulfilling job. Ever since I made that decision two major opportunities have opened up for other events.  It’s almost like the doors came off the hinges.  Someone actually told me they researched me and they knew my story.  That is the highest honor to have another organization seeking me out to speak to their audience.

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There is no right way to plan for entrepreneurship.  While there are some overall commonalities that entrepreneurs will face, everyone’s journey will also be different. Hopefully, some can find value in my experiences and keep them in mind in their own journey.  Keep what you need and toss the rest.

Peace and Blessings

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Uncomfortable Emotions

We do not achieve self control through the suppression of our emotions, but by being mindful of them and taking seriously the information they convey.. This inner space allows us the wisdom to act upon feelings conducive to our well being and not act upon those harmful to it. The feeling that ultimately comes to occupy this space is a deep and abiding peace. Such peace is the emotional reward of a spiritual life – Thomas Schenk

Emotions are friendly messages from your inner world. During a conversation I became extremely emotional about feeling burdened by family ties. The burden of unwanted expectations and manipulation. It’s almost like I reverted back to an old thought process of ‘if I am taking care of everyone’s else’s needs, who is going to take care of me’. My anger felt fueled by another’s attempt to get me to see it another way but instead of compassion I felt more anger. I felt a need to defend my stance to make clear that nobody’s opinion would sway my own.

To feel bound by the expectations of another is not always easy to shake especially when you are being constantly reminded of it. My response to it is my line in the sand. It creates a boundary that makes it clear where I stand. It provides clarity and consistency. A softer response doesn’t get the same reaction as a passionate hell no. A softer response equates to death to self. Often we are taught to sacrifice who we are for the unhealthy codependent needs of another. There is nothing spiritually, mentally or socially healthy or acceptable about these demands. The demands of others often cut off your freedom and impact your health.

Emotional responses are often associated with negativity or seen as a sign of weakness so we learn to suppress our feelings. On the surface the problem looks resolved but internally we create the pathway to imbalances in the physical body. Those imbalances impact the immune system and can make you vulnerable to diseases. Suppression creates stress that will eventually trigger a need for a physical release from the body. Suppression also often cuts off our communication and connection with others. For me it means putting distance between myself and whomever I no longer feel is a safe outlet. It is not blind agreement that I seek but rather compassion and understanding for what I feel. Spiritual consciousness and emotional intelligence means I have the right to feel how I feel. Even if my response isn’t agreed with.

Suppressing emotions may be a socially-approved…but it may cause negative things to happen that can affect your mental and physical health

Past experiences become a double edge sword even for the spiritually adept. Spiritual freedom allows you to live in the moment yet there is an unconscious part of you always ready to respond to the present moment with past emotions. It takes much practice to stay in the present moment. It takes practice to remember that your current freedom isn’t at risk. Some wounds are harder to heal than others. Awareness and reflection are a part of the healing process.

When faced with an uncomfortable emotional response instead of trying to resolve it, just allow it to happen with no attachment to the outcome. Some family dynamics are hard to explain.

Who Sent You

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The people I’ve met over the last six months have been very colorful. Not in terms of their outward appearance but rather in terms of their experiences, exposure, and vibration. As I continue to evolve so does the caliber of beings who cross my path. One such being graced my Reiki table a few weeks ago. She entered my space with an honest skepticism.  She explained how she kept feeling drawn to me. She had already done research and hoped the Reiki session could potentially clear up some things in her life. In her search, she felt drawn to me several times until she finally decided to call. Her intuition brought her to my doorsteps and she felt she had made the right choice.

I shared my background with her allowing her to become comfortable with who I was. She was rightfully adamant about who she was allowed to touch her energy.  I explained how during the sessions I get spiritual insight and if she was open I would share it with her at the end.  She was open to the feedback so we proceeded.

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In Reiki, I start at the top of the head and move from chakra to chakra until I reach the feet. Chakras are subtle energy centers that surround the body.  When I got to the third chakra, I started to feel a young kid in her energy field. It was a jovial little girl who appeared to be laughing and playing. She kept swinging her head from side to side. I felt an abundance of love and happiness as she danced around the room. At the end of the session I mentioned the little girl to my surprise she immediately lit up. I said you have a baby coming soon and it’s a little girl. She said she already knew what she would name her and everyone in her family already knew the name. I immediately felt a similarity in our paths. We spent the next hour exchanging stories about our lives and spiritual experiences. When she left I felt a sense of happiness. It reaffirmed that I was truly walking in my purpose and having an impact on the lives of others. It is my belief that no coincidences exist. We are always exactly where we need to be when we need to be there.

Peace and Blessings

I am a spiritual being having a human experience.

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Gratitude and Acknowledgement

I recently personally thanked a friend for attending one of my classes. He curiously asked if I hadn’t expected him to come. I explained my view on expectations, basically, I had none. It is my belief that all who should be there will be there.  This allows me not to focus on attendance but beyond that, it keeps me in a constant state of gratitude. It’s an authentic gratitude because I know at that moment a person has many options on how to spend their time. It is not my right to obligate anyone or to tie my success into someone else’s actions. When a student appears I see it as alignment. My choice to lead combined with their choice to attend is alignment, not a coincidence. Whenever I get to share a part of me with someone else, I am thankful.

Not everyone operates under this belief system. We often assume family and friends know we appreciate them. It takes two seconds to acknowledge someone’s effort and help free them from guilt, sorrow or feeling they’ve disappointed you because of expectations. Not everyone in your life is meant to serve in the capacity in which you want them to. They may want another role or serve a completely different purpose. Letting go of expectations and allowing others to show up how they choose reduces internal and external conflicts.

When you operate from a space of no expectations, you allow the universe to send who is supposed to be there. After class, I could call everyone to find out why they didn’t make it to class. I could get so caught up in the drama of expectations that I miss the opportunity to see the people who have a genuine interest in what I do. Expectations become a distraction and could cause me to miss out on the person who wants to explain the impact my class has had on them. I do not focus my attention on what’s not in my control instead I focus on what is presented to me in that moment. The moment someone appears I instantly become thankful.  I feel gratitude for being allowed to guide them. I openly show my appreciation but I also silently send blessings as well. Whether we accept it or not we are being guided. Therefore I purposely thank people for their time and acknowledge the light that guided them into my personal universe. The people that choose to come to my mindfulness classes are making an investment in themselves. The alignment is bigger than me and I am honored to be their leader. My gratitude is sincerely to encourage them to keep following their light even if that light does not lead them back to me.

Peace and Blessings

 

Networking For The Attuned: Reloaded

 

I recently took a four-week break from networking to evaluate my experiences and to come up with a new strategy. Being new to the game and trying to get my feet off the ground, meant I spent the first 90 days going to any and every event. In retrospect, this was not the most effective approach because I found myself burned out and reluctant to continue in that way. Although I was meeting great people, those individuals weren’t always open to the services I provide.  I quickly discovered that networking without a defined strategy is draining.

After a few weeks of rest and relaxation, I was able to redefine my networking target and niche. My intention is to focus on partnering with companies that are interested in providing mindfulness in the workplace options for their employees.  I decided to take it a level further by creating a list of three specific professions to focus my efforts on including human resource, accounting, and health care professionals.

Human Resource professionals from a health and wellness standpoint are the gate keepers to benefits programs offered to employees. Beyond that every year human resource departments gear up for annual enrollment. Annual enrollment is when employees are added to the insurance plan for the upcoming year, the process usually starts in the fall and ends after the new year.  This timeframe is very intense for benefits department which means a mindfulness practice can decrease burnout and improve overall mood.

Accountants on the other hand gear up for year end followed by audit and tax season. For accountants, December through April tends to be a highly stressful time of the year t since all three activities tend to overlap and have competing deadlines. This is also the time when most accountants work late nights and weekends, a mindfulness practice can increase clarity, concentration, and alleviate tension.

Last but not least I want to focus on health care professionals who are constantly on the front line helping to ensure the well being of others.   Health care professionals are tasked with making difficult decisions quickly. A mindfulness practice would be a great way to manage everyday challenges, increase resilience and improve coping skills associated with the health profession.

By deciding to use my knowledge of corporate departments and also tapping into the expertise of close friends who work in these environments I was able to create a better strategy. If you are currently seeking a networking strategy here are ten steps to consider in your plan.

  • Evaluate your target market and niche
  • Choose 3-5 areas to focus on
  • Define what successful networking means for you
  • Create a metrics to measure your progress
  • Every quarter evaluate your strategy and adjust it as needed
  • Get involved in the community by joining causes and associations you believe in
  • Volunteer at events that tie into your interest and business
  • Attend a lot of events to increase your confidence, practice your approach and study the crowd
  • Have fun and be fun to be around
  • Drop expectations and trust the process

These steps should get you off to a great start.  As you find your footing, more opportunities that are in alignment with your higher goals will appear. Stay positive and stay the course.

Peace and Blessings

10 Days and Counting

I follow my dreams.  Most dreams are hard to remember but the ones remembered are messages from the soul.  The dream had enough impact to remain imprinted for me to bring back into my waking life for a reason.  I am in alignment with imprinted dreams.  I am balanced.  I am whole.  I am a dreamer.  I hear my words.  I am in alignment with my dreams.  I allow myself to follow my dreams.

Fear Creeping 

Fear

Day 11 was sketchy.  I was feeling mixed emotions.  My last gut check.  I’ve been asked if I’m scared.  Surprisingly the answer is hell yes.  Most of the things I try I am scared but I’ve learned to push through my fear.  Every time I push through something good comes out of it.  Fear is a motivator once you recognize it for what it is.  I refuse to live my life in doubt and what ifs.  I have learned to exam what I’m feeling to see if it’s based in truth.

Fear has a tendency of lying to you. It says you aren’t ready, you aren’t good enough, you can’t leave that relationship, you will never get that dream job, you can’t manage your health or weight…and the list goes on.  Yesterday my fear asked me was I sure?  I could feel my stomach balling up.  I needed a nap.  I couldn’t concentrate.  What would people think?  Am I doing too much?  Am I not doing enough?  I spent at least two hours in a fog but when I got home I got right back into my zone.  I cut off communication with the external world to go within.  I started looking at my plans for the day.   I looked at the task that needed to be accomplished for the week.  I had to acknowledge what I was feeling then refocus.  Your home has to be your sacred space.  It has to be where you can go to recharge and get centered.  Then I took a long nap.

When I awoke the feelings from earlier were a distant memory.  I spent sometime in reflection.  It was necessary for me to acknowledge and accept my guest appearing thoughts.  I thanked fear for showing up and reminding me it was time to create my own life.  If I wanted to live by my rules, I have to stay the course and see this through completion.

We all have something that lingers in the background waiting to give us false truths about who we are, who we can be and what’s destined for our lives.  It’s up to us to decipher what’s real and what we can use for motivation.  You want to know how I found courage?  I practiced it.  I don’t seek validation.  By the time most people catch up to what I’m on, I’m halfway done with the task.  I’ve already beat fear by just stepping outside of my comfort zone.  You won’t feel confident taking big leaps until you taken several mini leaps.  The small leaps are what build courage, endurance and strength.  Fear is not my enemy, I use it to measure my success.  When I feel it I know I’m close to my next breakthrough.  It means I can’t look back but I can thank it for the reminder.

Peace and Blessings