Finding Meaning In Times of Uncertainty

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Fifteen days into self quartine and social distancing has a way of providing perspective. While I don’t claim to know everything, I do know what is happening all over the world at this moment in time, is causing everyone to take a look at life as they know it and make some decisions. Some of those decisions will be very personal while other decisions have become mandates such as working from home and in some cases temporary job loss.

Luckily I am a half glass full person, so I definitely wanted to put some positive vibes out especially after being surrounded by so many doomsday theories and just plain confusion about the state of our affairs not only in this country but all over the world. So in that vein, I’ll share some things that I am happy to see and proud to be a part of.

1 – Although I live hundreds of miles away from my parents and siblings, with all this free time we’ve been checking in on each other more frequently.  Some of the conversations are utterly ridiculous like the one I had with my father a week ago about this “worldwide academic’ (he means pandemic) and him arguing with me about the number of people in my area that are infected with the virus (70% of the city according to him).  I’m like dad, I check the news at least once a day and that’s just not the case because there aren’t enough test available to for that many people yet.  According to the 2017 census, there are over six million people in the metro DC area so his theory is just not possible. Or even the conversation with my brother whose every other word was obviously fear-based and also laced with rumors and misinformation.

The other extreme of conversations with my mother and sister are more lighthearted, lined with humor and memes about the times we are living in. My mother frequently reminding me of our need to keep the faith and watch the words we speak. I see now I get a lot of my perspective from both parents. For years my mother has reminded us about not speaking things into existence long before it became a thing for me. Although the language she used was different, the message has always been the same. My sister and I exchange daily memes and funny video clips that we find throughout the day, not once have I heard a negative word come out of her mouth since this whole thing began. So I’m grateful and feel more connected to the four of them than I have felt in a while.

I am also thankful for the reminder that I come from a family, a race and a culture where we have learned to laugh through the pain and confusion even when we have no idea of what is to come. I don’t know what happens next but I have an overwhelming feeling that all is well and things will fix themselves. I also have a feeling that this situation is opening the heart of the human spirit something we all so desperately need at this time.

2 – I’ve also gotten reacclimated to the power of sleep. The type of sleep that really allows the body to rest without the guilt often associated with inactivity.  I personally don’t feel guilty about getting adequate sleep but I know there are a lot of people who do. In the last six months, I’ve been working on a project that I’ve enjoyed overall but the last thirty days the hours increased drastically and I was working 10-12 hour days more than I care to admit. Not to mention other work-related obligations I had outside of that project that would consume my Saturday mornings. So I spent the last two weeks getting the best sleep of my life, mainly because I’ve exhausted tv, eating, reading, and chatting with family and friends.  I am now feeling inspired to get back to writing, blogging, and podcasting. All activities that make me happy and keep me feeling aligned with my inner being.

3 – I have this saying that “if you don’t slow down, then the universe will slow you down.”  Well, this time is proof that humanity needed to slow down and recalibrate so that we are positioned to operate in more aligned ways going forward.  I’m not a big news person but for years there has been talk of the damage human behavior has had on the planet, maybe this is a universe’s way of slowing if not stopping a lot of those behaviors so that the planet can heal itself. The few times I’ve been outside, there are very few vehicles on the road so I know our carbon imprint has shifted.  I’m sure companies that pollute have had to slow down operations as well. With most people indoors, the physical earth is definitely getting the rest it needs as well. Maybe when we emerge from this time, it will be with more kindness and empathy not only towards each other but toward the planet we all reside on.

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4 – People are exploring new ways to live in isolation. I’ve never seen so many virtual parties, open mics, and concerts than I am seeing right now. Last night I played tv show trivia on Instagram live followed by watching a mini-concert series, both of which I enjoyed. It gave me a much needed Netflix break. People are become creative and expanding the reality of what is possible. It shows the depth of human connection and taps into the spirit of our ability to adjust accordingly.

The first fifteen days I had mixed feelings, but going into the third week of quarantine I feel more at peace and much more emotionally stabilized about the current situation. I’ve stopped running to the grocery store every day. I was only going to refill on snacks anyway. I’ve started to fall into a routine. I am staying very connected with my family and friends. I go out for a nice walk as often as the weather will permit. I am also enjoying the creativity being displayed by others as well as the awakening of our heart center. Stay safe and stay blessed!

 

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DC Entrepreneur Vibes

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I am three weeks into my staycation. A staycation is a vacation where you get to unplug from your traditional day to day task while staying in the comfort of your own home.  I don’t know if you can really call it a staycation because I recently relocated from Atlanta to Washington DC.  I am not sure if this is a permanent move but what I am sure that this part of my journey is tied to this location. I lived DC over ten years ago. The crazy thing is that both the city and I have changed drastically since then.  Ten years ago the city was more “urban” but gentrification has altered the landscape. This is not a bad thing, it actually makes the figuring it out part more interesting.

 

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The vibe of the city is also completely different from Atlanta.  Atlanta’s entrepreneurship experience for me was more focused on empowerment, starting a business and marketing yourself.  DC’s entrepreneur vibe is totally different.  The entrepreneurial vibe is more real estate investing, government and politically focused. Rightfully so because the government runs this town and “fighting the power’ (i.e. establishment) is very ingrained into it.  I am reminded of this everytime I’m trolling for things to do. I’m not gone lie, I am itching to march on Washington for some cause. I just haven’t figured out which cause.

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As I’ve been getting acquainted with the landscape and entrepreneurial vibe, it’s taking more time to get used to the question ‘so what do you do.’  It’s not so much the question but more of the tone that’s not sitting well with my spirit these days.  As if my response will determine my worthiness. I know my projections and insecurities are mixed into my perception.  I’m still kind of taken aback and annoyed by the tone.  It’s so direct and finite. I want to shrug and scream ‘I don’t know what I do. I’m figuring it out and taking it day by day.’  Although it’s a partially true statement, I am not sure if it’s appropriate for someone my age. The expectation is that I should know but the truth is I’ve chosen freedom and happiness over accuracy.  I am a CPA that blogs about my life and spiritual experiences.  I am also a yoga teacher that writes and aspires to speak publicly about doing what the hell you want.  I am also an entrepreneur that host events on quitting your job to follow your dreams.  I am also a landlord that travels. I am also on my ‘I support everybody black’ shit but I’m kind to people of all ethnicities.  I am also an aspiring podcaster that loves all these things equally…. so that’s the true response. I’m sure that’s confusing to some, that as a human being I have a multitude of interest that all tie into my purpose and life choices. I am taking it day by day and following what makes me happy but that tone temporarily has me stuck in my head about how to respond authentically.

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I also noticed while southern entrepreneurs believe in massaging you into doing business, DC entrepreneurs have a rude undertone. They aren’t paying attention to social cues. They want an immediate return on investment. They meet you today and want you to buy yesterday.  I’m like wait a minute so you not gone even pull out the vasoline before you make me bend over?  I’m not a southern belle.  I’m actually pretty ratchet but even I feel some kind of way about how I’ve been approached.  I’m probably being dramatic but I think you get where I’m going with that. I am also certain that I just haven’t met my tribe of entrepreneurs. They exist its just a matter of allowing things to happen.  I understand this is a new ball game, with key players and a system in place.  All in all this relocation and these new challenges are a source of adventure for me.  My adrenaline is pumping!  I love to use the puzzle analogy because it’s an accurate depiction of how I see life.  I am working on a new puzzle, it looks nothing like the old one.  I’ll start with the strategies I know and update them as needed. I am up for the challenge.

 

Peace and Blessings

 

Identity In Progress

Recently, I saw a social media post of a former classmate in reference to his ancestry results. Like most African Americans, I have wondered about my own lineage. When I’ve asked the question, few family members can speak beyond their great-grandparents. A few years ago I attempted to create a family tree but when suggestions for next of kin appeared I was be completely lost. I didn’t know who was married to whom or all the children names to keep up the momentum. After several attempts, frustration took over and I pushed these ideas to the side.

The furthest generation I know about is my great-grandparents. I knew my father’s family was from Memphis because we traveled every summer there to celebrate my great grandfather’s birthday. He lived to be one hundred years old. After he transitioned around the time I was in middle school, the trips to Tennessee got far and few in between. I never got the opportunity to meet my paternal great-grandmother but I always heard that she was a very pretty Native American.

 

My mother’s family was from St Louis. However, we never traveled to Missouri as a family. I only remember meeting my maternal great-grandmother once. Her reputation proceeded her so I wasn’t upset about not getting to know her. My mother spoke often of her quick temper and no-nonsense approach toward kids. The only memories I have is of her scowling and looking like a mirrored image of my grandmother. My maternal great-grandfather had already transitioned so I never set eyes on him in this lifetime.

 

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When my maternal grandmother transitioned in 2014, I took on the task of creating the obituary. That was a very eye-opening experience. I discovered for the first time that my maternal family originated in a small town outside of Little Rock Arkansas. In all my years it had never been mentioned. I attempted to do the last name search on my grandmother’s maiden name but my search didn’t yield any results. So once again I pushed the idea out of my mind. Over the years I’ve wondered about where my family originated but felt frustrated with each dead end. However, it is my hope that this ancestry test will provide another starting point in my journey to find out more about my lineage.

 

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I’ve had all kind of dreams on the subject in the last five years. When I started horseback riding back in 2016, I was often visited by what felt like a paternal great great grandfather. I often felt like he was guiding and protecting me as I learned to ride. I got the impression from his visits that he was a great horseman. In the visions, he was always seated on top of this beautiful brown horse. I felt very connected to him and as if he had chosen to help me discover a deeper part of who I was on that journey. In the dreams, he appeared to be Native American. For months we trotted along in slow motion then one day the horse took off running and instead of being scared I felt at home and protected. That experience gave me a greater appreciation for nature, animals and my inner wild child. I am a firm believer that spiritual beings and ancestors are very much a part of our everyday lives. It is my hope that I can confirm some of my experiences through this process.

 

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It’s funny how things around you start to happen when a particular decision is made. I have wanted to travel to Africa for at least two years but to be honest felt a little nervous about traveling their solo. I have traveled to several countries by myself at this point. In retrospect, I know my ignorance and fears have kept me from taking this journey sooner. As a youth, I remember being bombarded with negative images of Africa. Most imagery included war, rape, and starvation. But I also remember being very intrigued by the continent as well. As I book lover, I’ve read a wide array of books about African life and culture. However, unconsciously some of those negative ideas have still lingered somewhere in my psyche. But I made the decision a few months ago that I would journey to the motherland in 2019. Since I made that decision I have received two invitations to travel there with friends.

 

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I’ve also started having dreams about doing work over in South Africa. I don’t know what the work is at the moment but I feel that it will indeed be life-changing. All these I interpret as spiritual nudging. My dreams never lie to me and when I indulge in them I always come back feeling enlightened and more unapologetic about the choices that I have made in this life.

 

 

Peace and Blessings

6 Months and Counting

It’s the fourth quarter and 2017 has been good to me. I’ve learned so much about entrepreneurship.  No matter how much research you do, nothing can teach you better than real life experiences. Here are the top six things I learned in the last six months.

Businesses are cyclical. I anticipated my slow season and had a one-dimensional idea of what I could do when it arrived. I wanted to spend time with family and friends. That, however, wouldn’t keep my business relevant or in the minds of potential customers. Since my slow season started earlier than anticipated I had to create a new plan.  That plan included me finishing my book, attending more networking events, vending at conferences and self-educating in preparation for the next season.

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Multiple streams of income are imperative. Yoga and meditation provide meaning and direction. I love sharing it with other people.  I’ve come to understand it is just a gateway to other opportunities.  In addition to mindfulness services, I offer meditation supplies at events along with my book. I also provide Reiki healing sessions. All are elements under a wellness umbrella. In addition, I am still a CPA and work on contract assignments as needed.

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Businesses will sell you anything, including what you do not need. My biggest lessons this year have been related to paying for services I didn’t need. I take accountability because it’s my responsibility to make educated purchases. I quickly came to understand that some businesses will knowingly sell you something of no real value to your business. They are in the business to make money.  I started my business to help, empower and inspire other people which leave no room for misleading others. It’s not necessary.  I believe people are lead to me and I have a spiritual responsibility to handle them with love and care. I learned to do more research on the front end and ask other business owners for referrals.

Leveling up is key.  I’ve been paying my dues and making my rounds. I’ve gotten comfortable in my arena and I’m now starting to see the same faces.  I recently decided it was time for me to find a new circle. My intent is to maintain a presence in the current one but to also put myself in a room with people who can teach me more. This is necessary for my long-term growth and prosperity.

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Ask for what you want. I am used to being independent and having to figure it out on my own. Entrepreneurship is all about relationships.  You have to ask for support.  You have to personally invite others to your events.  You have to ask for event and product sponsorships. In the business world asking for what you want is not frowned upon.  This is new territory for me but I am up for the challenge.

The best way to establish yourself as a leader in your industry is to plan your own event. Since I published ’60 Affirmations and Reflections for Entrepreneurs’, I’ve been looking for speaking engagements to promote it. The only roadblock is that I am not known as a speaker,  I am still considered a newbie in this arena. Therefore, I have been turned away more times than I’d like to admit.  I don’t take it personally because businesses have to protect their brand and affiliations. Then one day it hit me, instead of asking others for a seat at their table, why not create my own damn table and movement. If I want to prove I’m a great speaker, then I have to create a speaking event.  This lead to the birth of  ‘Quit Your Job in 90 Days’, an event designed for attendees to walk away with an actionable plan to leave an unfulfilling job. Ever since I made that decision two major opportunities have opened up for other events.  It’s almost like the doors came off the hinges.  Someone actually told me they researched me and they knew my story.  That is the highest honor to have another organization seeking me out to speak to their audience.

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There is no right way to plan for entrepreneurship.  While there are some overall commonalities that entrepreneurs will face, everyone’s journey will also be different. Hopefully, some can find value in my experiences and keep them in mind in their own journey.  Keep what you need and toss the rest.

Peace and Blessings

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Writing is Home

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I feel like I’ve been gone so long.  Every year I take a mini hiatus.  Not because I am resting but rather I am working, creating or transitioning in some other way that takes me away from my first love. I have been sharing my spiritual journey for almost five years and it never gets old for me.  Writing is my home.  I tend to pick up where I left off.

2017 has gotten off to a great start so I am looking forward to sharing my experiences. I started by own company Jaiona’s Yoga Closet (JYC) in late 2015.

 We empower others through body awareness, breathing techniques and yoga postures to enhance their overall health and well-being.  We teach you how to create space in your life to balance your daily challenges and align with your higher purpose, increase happiness and find inner peace.

JYC ended 2016 well and is expanding quickly as we enter the new year so I am extremely excited and proud.  I also blog about yoga and meditation on www.jaionascloset.com.  I offer classes throughout the Atlanta metro area and I’m looking forward to expanding to other cities.

As I’ve mentioned in previous post, I’ve been quitting my job for 16 years now.  I finally started the process so the talk can become a reality. I loved being an Accountant.  I will always be a CPA.  Mainly because that was one of the hardest test to pass so I refuse to allow my license to expire but I never felt it was my true calling or purpose.  So as I’ve aligned my thoughts to match my purpose, shedding pieces of the past has become my new norm.  My last day in that particular role will be end of April.  I may still dabble in that area but more in the form of trainer/mentor and sharing my insights with those who want to learn. I believe this might be the last piece to the old me but we will see.

Also, I will continue my travels probably more locally than I have in the past.  It’s time to reconnect with and find my family.  I have relatives all over the US that I haven’t seen in years.  Something internally is calling for me to return to my familial center by connecting with my extended family.  I’ve tried to create a family tree for years and have never gotten far beyond my great grandparents. I am hoping this year will bring all things full circle.  I also will be in Spain later this year so I look forward to sharing my sabbatical insights as well.  I am hoping to make it to South Africa as well but that is up in the air at the moment. It’s out in the universe so I will let it come to me.

So that’s where I’ve been, gone but not forgotten.  I am back and ready to share what the Creator has in store for me this year.

Peace and Blessings

Far East

I can go anywhere in the world and feel a cultural connection in that moment.  My sabbaticals are always reflective in nature and lead to an outpouring of spiritual revelations and writing.  Going far east was no different.  As soon as I landed I knew I would be returning in the near future quickly forgetting about the eighteen hours it took to get there.  I love my alone time.  It gives me a chance to get lost in thought and take in the sights without having to express what I am thinking or feeling.

My thoughts seemed to loop between how to expand my mindfulness practice, how to use my practice to empower others and how to use my  other spiritual gifts.  I spent a good amount of time in various asanas between tours. Simply a tool used to center myself to help bring everything in focus.  My conclusion is that I live a good life.  Minus a few mishaps, this year abundance has surrounded me in a way not seen before.  This trip reminded me there is a commonality that exist between all cultures that tie us together as human beings.  As an African American we speak freely about cultural inequalities and oppression which I can never deny their existence.  Every culture has a history, it is the resilience of the people that create change, evolution and bring about peace.  In listening to the history of China, I had to step outside of my body to understand this is what binds our experiences but it’s also not our only story.

My generation like the ones before still have a choice in the matter.  We get to write our own story.  What will time be known as? What imprints will we leave? Who will be taking a picture of my homeland hundreds of years from now?  I hope this time will be known as a time reconnecting with the source.  A time where as a culture we found our spiritual gifts and used them to grow, heal and empower each other.

Journey into the Middle East

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I recently met some close friends in Dubai. From what I’ve been told although Dubai is in the Middle East it has strong western influences which were evident by the peppering of chain restaurants and expats with foreign clothes. There are some things that stood out as time in some cases does not always trump tradition.  There is still sightings of separation in the sexes apparent by the female only or male only labels. There were a few times when none acknowledgement or response from a man was evident but I wasn’t sure if that was due to my gender or foreign status.  Yet I was very aware of the slight difference.  Not in all places but enough to have stood out in my psyche.

Overall it was a very eye opening trip.  On our ride to the safari we became aware that married men are not allowed to sit next to other women. The driver asked him to move to the front passenger seat while his wife silently sobbed beside us. When we journeyed to Abu Dhabi an hour away we were required to wear traditional head wrap and coverings to be permitted into the mosque.  It was quiet evident again that things were different.  We weren’t allowed to step into certain sections of the mosque.  But I respect honor and tradition so a part of me instinctly understood the nature of sacredness being conveyed. We spent all of our days on day long tours or treks into the city. So much so that when I returned I slept for probably 16 hours in one day.  Sleep for me is symbolic of an internal integration or a spiritual shift that occurs as a result of a long journey.  In their streets I was a damn near bald headed liberated black woman walking the streets of unspoken limitations for my gender.  I call it a balancing of the scales, being able to see both sides of the coin in one swoop.  Self realization of where you are at and how far you have come.  Another piece of my puzzle revealed.

 

Kyhir: The Little Warrior

I love you sight unseen
At least physical sight unseen
Inside me I feel you
I listen to your thoughts
They pulsate through my senses
The side of my left eye throbs as you commune with me
I laugh at your humor, smile at your presence
I know you are enroute and preparing me for your return
I hold tightly to this knowledge
Praying gently that the seeds planted into my vessel
Grow out in abundance and in alignment with the way
I ask what’s your name
You show me symbols
I wake up in the middle of the night to comb through the web to find the both the source and response to what you convey
I enjoy your presence and anticipate your arrival
Inspired in pen to describe you now and the love that both comforts and overwhelms me at once
I see you laying on my chest and I smile
I hug at the images because I know you are here in spirit watching my movements trying to decide if you made the right choice in your earthly Isis, your vagrant Lilith, your moon goddess, yaya
Your yin, ma’yor or whatever it is you refer to me as in this state
I open my arms, heart, body and soul to you
May you enter a healed womb and soul
I prepare it for your now as best way I know how
I know I’m being divinely guided
I can’t wait to meet my sun to merge him with my moon
To live in today to create a new tomorrow
I know you come to this vessel with purpose
Kyhir my little warrior, the voice in no need of human word
I love you already and patiently wait for your arrival
With loving eyes, thoughts and memories
May God bless you and show me how to guide you
I surrender you to the most high now and again when we meet
You come with a mission
Singing songs of rejoice
Playing the guitar of life the one I bought in my ignorance not knowing that I play from my heart for you
I sing to your wisdom as you perfect your own way
You give me words to Zen by
I wait for your arrival
I wait for your arrival
No wait for your arrival
Be blessed love